Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month we followed Kelly as she challenged herself to a one-month shopping fast. This month it’s Samantha and her quest to be man-free for 31 days.
A wise woman (my great-grandmother) once said, “boys are like buses, another one will come around the corner in 5 minutes.” My great-grandmother also said, “if you can’t be good, be careful.” Thanks, Grammy.
In my history of interaction with the opposite sex, I have found the first to be true. Since I started dating the guy that would be come my long-term boyfriend of three years right before my Junior year of high school, there has been a steady stream of guys coming and going in my life. (Insert dirty pun here?) Whether we were just “talking,” dating, or hooking up, I’ve seldom gone a few months without any kind of male interest.
There was my boyfriend of three years, whom I dated up until the end of my freshman year of college. Then there was a friend who wanted to be more, followed by a few drunken one-night stands. Then there was Douchebag letter C, whom I let string me along for far too long. Then there was Douchebag letter T, who I let do the same. Then there was M, who I may or may not still be in love with. We met in June between my sophomore and junior years, and dated from August-January. Then there was my run with match.com. Yes, match.com. It’s a whole other story, but after dating frat-boy-doucher, a stint with an NFL player, and some planned but never executed dates with a few others, I had successfully been talking to lots of guys but getting nowhere.
[Pause] Wow, that’s a lot. I just quantified four years of my life by whom I was “dating” (the term dating is used extremely generously here). WTF? I JUST QUANTIFIED FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE BY WHOM I WAS DATING! This, ladies, is what brings me to Man-Free May.
So what is Man-Free May? Is it kind of like Mustache March? Hmm, sort-of, although my upper lip isn’t what is going to be waxed by the end of this. Gross, I know, but it’ll keep me honest.
Man-Free May is exactly as it sounds. No dates. No random makeouts. No kissing male friends. NO DRUNK TEXTING. No sexting. No instigating text/email/Facebook wall conversations with members of the opposite sex whom I would consider dating. No sex. No crying over ex-boyfriends, lost loves, or the one that I’ll never have. No (insert male-related crazy girl habit here).
Why oh why am I giving up cuddle sessions for a full month?? A few reasons. I’d love to be in another committed relationship; I’m a love junkie and miss having a partner in crime (and regular booty). Whenever I’m not in a relationship, I’m trying to be. This leads me to let guys use me, lead me on, etc., etc. Guys can tell that I want to be in a relationship – it’s just who I am – and this sends most of them running in the other direction. I’m tired of trying, tired of trying to make it happen when it’s just not what (seemingly) any members of the opposite sex are looking for when they can have a slew of drunken bimbos nearly every night of the week, no-strings attached. (To be fair, I have been that bimbo before.) So I’m going to stop trying, cold turkey.
Man-Free may will also give me a chance to focus on ME and what I want to do with the next five years of my life after I graduate this spring. I can focus on my friends, my family, my health (lose those last 4 lbs!), and hopefully just chill out and have drama-free fun.
So, for 31 days I am going Man-Free. Follow me as I discern whether playing hard to get really works, and a whole lot of other stuff. Or even better, join in and tell me how it’s going for you in the comments below! Let’s stop focusing on the guys and do something completely for ourselves for once.