Gossip Girl: Is Rufus Making Waffles In Someone Else’s Kitchen?

Before I get into the real meat of last night’s Gossip Girl episode, I have one thing to say:

WHO TELLS A 19-YEAR-OLD GIRL THAT HER STEP-DAD IS CHEATING ON HER MOM WHO IS SICK WITH CANCER (or at least thinks she is) WHILE GRABBING HER COAT FROM THE COAT CHECK GUY???

OK, now that I got that off my chest, I’m feeling a little better. But really, what is wrong with (fictional) people? Was it so urgent, random beautiful woman from downstairs, that you couldn’t wait until you got home – to the building you both live in – to tell Lily yourself? And is it even true? Could it be that this woman is just head over heels for Rufus and wants him and his waffle iron for herself?  Between all his breakfast-making and conniving to keep the Doc out of Lily’s life, when would he have the time for some extra-marital nookie?

And, let’s not forget that Lily already sorta knew something was happening between these two before. But what that “something” was, we don’t know for sure. Remember Scarf-Gate 2009? That wool Burberry number was what evened the score earlier in the year when Rufus was all, “Why you lying to me, Lily?” and Lily was all, “Hey, I’m gonna leave this scarf on your table without saying anything so you know that I know and we can move on.”

But now stupid Serena (and her stupid gorgeous makeup and those stupid ridiculous earrings and that stupid, stupid insanely beautiful dress) is involved and we all know how that’s gonna go. (And if you don’t, here’s a rundwon: she’s going to get deep into the mess without really knowing the truth, she’s going to hurt a lot of people, probably break up the family, but then she’s going to apologize to everyone and it will all be OK. Oh, and then she’s going to have hot, steamy sex [potentially involving things found in the fridge] with Nate.)

Can’t wait to see how that all goes down. Pause. Not.

What I am excited for, though, is the return of the old Blair Waldorf. I had a couple tears in my eyes when we found out Chuck had applied to Columbia for her. Not only am I ready for my favorite witch to get out of the East Village and start breaking bitches down on the UWS, but the fact that Chuck applied there for her? Swoon. That’s love. For real, I applied there back in the day and anyone who is willing to do that for someone else deserves a medal of honor. That ish was ridonk.

Sigh, what I would give to be on of Chuck’s random girls for the night…..

Woops. Back on track.

Things also happened between Dan and Vanessa. I only noticed because while these (boring) things were happening, Vanessa was wearing an awesome sequin cardigan and I was drooling onto my remote. I watched closely, hoping she might disclose where said cardigan came from, but instead I followed some fight about internships and writing courses and blah, blah, blah. The funny thing is, the Dan and Vanessa situation is the only one on the show that would really hold up in the real world. It’s real drama, something we can all identify with, and it’s boring me to tears. Maybe V leaving for three months will spice things up a bit?

Or MAYBE Vanessa will send Jenny instead (I’m sure CNN and Haiti need some 17-year-old girl who can sew) and she and her waist-long hair and super wet looking lips will be out of our lives forever!!

Wishful thinking?
Probably, but we’ll find out the fate of all of our favorite UES-ers in the season finale next week. Here’s hoping Jenny’s drug dealing ways save her family…

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