Tuffy Luv is Creeped Out

Aunt Tuffy is back from vacation! For answerinos to your questioninos (or, at least the ones to which La Tuff chooses to respond), email [email protected].

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Before I got into grad school I met this girl during my senior year of college. She was a freshmen and had a boyfriend. I had got out of bad thing about 8 month earlier, so I was in no rush. Well the more I avoided this girl the more I ran into her; it was almost like fate. Eventually we become good friends. Almost near the end of the semester we got we close. One night she stayed at my house and I gave up my bed and I slept on the couch. She told me I could stay with her but I said, “you got a BF.” She said she broke up with him months ago. So I reluctantly laid in the bed with her cuz I didn’t want to start anything. Well, I woke in the middle of the night and she was staring into my eyes. Something in me told me to push forward and it was okay. I kissed her and she kissed me right back. Eventually we started going out.

I messed up soon enough. I lied about being some place I wasn’t. She got pissed and didn’t talk to me for a week. When she finally called me I told her I loved her and I understood if she was done with me. But she said she loved me too and it was her first time really ever being in love and her first time saying it and meaning it.

But then another terror strikes. I got robbed by someone who I thought knew me. I was afraid to tell anyone. It caught up with me one night when I was walking back at 2 am to her room from the lab. I saw the guy again and freaked out and jetted to her room and told her. We called the cops and for two weeks they harassed me about it. Finally they said they had enough evidence to say I was lying. They arrested me and she bailed me out of jail. I got heat about from my parents and the eventually she broke up with me and said we needed time apart to do our thing, but she said I will always be in her heart.

We broke up in March, but we had been together almost 2 years and really didn’t stop seeing each other until April and it’s  been about two weeks. She has called me once and asked how I was doing and even texted me later that night saying she couldn’t sleep and even wanted me to come over, but I said no cuz it would be counter-productive to the whole process.

What I want to know is am I doing the right thing. I never cried over any woman before and I know there is a huge age difference (she is 19, I just turned 24), but I have a gut feeling that she is supposed to be with me eventually and I having trouble dealing with this. I feel the urge to call her every 5 mins. I have even went on a couple dates but all these other woman don’t mean anything to me. I know my ex is going out with other guys and enjoying the attention and she says she still loves me and care about me. We have similar goals and aspirations and I cant help but want to fight for this love that I have. I finally have let it go and have let the love be what it is, but i just want to know what chances I have if i just let her go and enjoy life and give her space to come around. She thinks I’m doing fine but I’m really not and I feel like I’m losing it.

I thought I knew everything about woman, but for once I’m stumped and I hope I’m doing the right thing. I was with her for almost 2 years and these were the best I have ever had.

— First time in Love and Will Fight for it

Dear First Time,

What. The. Floop.

Okay, first of all, you don’t know “everything about woman.” You know nothing about women. You know nothing about women at all.

She’s done with you, kiddo. She thinks you’re a liar and a troublemaker.

And frankly, I do too. You called the police on a guy because he robbed you before and then the police arrested YOU?! Even if you WERE lying, that makes no flipping sense. Something is amiss here, friendo. You is not telling ze truth.

Look, she’s only 19. She’s not looking to get too serious, especially if you’re going to be causing problems, which you have demonstrated that you are. She’s either trying to let you down easy, or she think you’re a crazy stalker who will kill her if she outright turns you down.

Solution: stop bugging her. Move on with your life. Check back in with her if you still feel the urge in NO SOONER than a month. Stop being so insane and get your act together, and maybe she’ll be willing to give you another chance. And this time, don’t just SAY you’re a good guy–ACT like one. Seriously. And don’t screw up.

Frankly, you kind of frighten me. Your whole email seems like a serious of little lies and cover-ups. Did you expect me to say something else?! Why the hell would you expect puppies and kittens from someone named Tuffy Luv?!

Chill out and try telling the truth once in a while. I guarantee your life will improve.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Dealing with a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship
Dealing with a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship
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