So you meet this guy. Yay! He seems really cool, you guys can talk, joy of joys! Visions pop up in your head of you two enjoying a picnic in the park, holding hands walking to class, maybe even him standing outside your window after a fight holding up a boombox (it doesn’t matter where he got a boombox, the point is that he has it) that’s playing “In Your Eyes.”
Sigh. You are so ready to do couply things with him…BUT WAIT! Just as you’re setting up your profile on The Knot, suddenly (seemingly out of the blue) he says he “wants to keep it casual.” WHAAAATTT??!! CASUAL?! Where did that come from? And how could you have not seen it coming??
It seems so arbitrary, but actually, he left signs all over the place. Here are five of the more obvious ones. And if they seem glaringly obvious to you, fabulous! But trust me, sometimes (like when all we can see are butterflies, rainbows and slow-mo frolics in grassy fields) we all miss the signs, even the ones that are big, bright and flashing.
He Only Calls After $1 Pitcher Night
When a boy drunk dials you (constantly) it’s not “cute” that he’s “thinking about you when he’s drunk!” That is not romance, that is a boy who is not only cheap when it comes to you, but apparently wants to be as blasted as possible before being seen out with you.
He Introduces You To His Friends as “This is Blah” or “This is my friend, Blah.”
If he doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend, chances are…you aren’t.
You Communicate Almost 100% via Text Message
“Yo wut r u doin later?” instead of actually calling you to talk to you is probably a sign that he isn’t that interested in “wut’s up” with you. Even if he’s “not a phone guy.” Even the most phone averse will pick up the phone to talk to the one he loves.
He Doesn’t Really Acknowledge You in Public
Scenario: you’re in the caf, you see him…GET READY HE’S GOING TO SAY HI! EVERYONE WILL SEE!!…. Wait, WHY IS HE JUST TALKING BY? …Because he’s keeping it casual. And possibly doing the same with a few other girls gettin’ their salad bar on right now.
He Says He Isn’t Looking For a Girlfriend
This seems like an obvious one, but it tends to be one that girls overlook. We somehow always think, “Yeah, he may not be looking for a girlfriend NOW, but now that he’s found me…” Cue “In Your Eyes”, etc. NO. DO NOT DO THAT. If he tells you that, it is a step away from “See you later” -later being “some (never) ambiguous (never) time (never) in (never) the (never) future.” Never.