Single. Without Any “Just Friends” Guy Friends

This past week has been a blur of free time that only comes in the brief break between finals and when summer school, internships, and jobs really get busy. With the weather being cold and rainy outside (it’s like it KNOWS that finals are over and has sent the sun away to hide…), my plans for a group trip to the beach turned into a movie afternoon. Everyone met at my apartment, which was a chaotic mess that only comes with 2 girls moving in while 2 girls are still in the process of moving out. That meant there was only one DVD anyone could find (the one in the DVD player) and that, to the chagrin of all the boys, was “When Harry Met Sally.”

As much as the boys complained, they refused to go back out into the downpour and grab another movie, so we settled in, put our feet up on some boxes and watched. The boys made fun of it and threw popcorn around (don’t worry, I made them vacuum later…) as Billy Crystal stood on the ridiculously large television screen (sadly only in my apartment until June 1st, don’t get too jealous), trying to convince Meg Ryan that men and women could never just be friends.

My gut reaction the one time that I’d seen this movie before had been to stay on Sally’s side during that initial debate. A younger, less jaded version of myself was so certain that girls and boys could of course be just friends. I remember being appalled at the idea that my guy friends wanted to date me. They were like my brothers and the thought of even kissing them made me feel icky inside.

Now, though, I’m not so sure.

I’ve had quite a few guy friends from high school on, but with the transition to college the dynamics have shifted. Thanks often to the influence of alcohol, accidental hook-ups between ‘just friends’ seem astoundingly common in the college world. Many of those accidents continue to happen and often lead to friends with benefits situations (a whole other topic unto itself) which further blurs the lines of friendship between girls and guys.

What my high school self didn’t realize at the time is that there very well might have been feelings somewhere deep inside between me and my guy friends, but without the aid of alcohol no one ever acted on them or even let themselves identify them. Fast forward a few years and it’s a whole different story.

As I looked around the room at the guys, I saw two guy friends that I had accidentally kissed (while intoxicated, and only once with each of them!), another that I had kind of faux dated at the beginning of the year but now just studied with, a boy that I had been crushing on all year but had yet to break up with his long-distance girlfriend, two that I really did just think of as ‘just friends’ (granted one had tried to ask me out earlier, but I think we’re past that now) and this random friend of a friend who had been recruited to help us start the grill at the now flooded beach.

Yowza. Those aren’t very good “just friend” odds. Especially when you consider how cute grill guy was….

The more I think about things, the more aligned I am with Harry. Truly platonic relationships between members of the opposite sex are the exception and not the rule. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either naive or hiding a secret crush.

What do you think? Can guys and girls really just be friends? Or will there always be a little something to complicate it? Or do I just have way too much time on my hands without homework ?

Coupled. Date Night!
Coupled. Date Night!
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