It’s Time To Hang Up The Microphone, American Idol

So last night was American Idol’s big finale, the one where they name the winner and have a whole show dedicated to Simon Cowell’s creations. To be honest, I didn’t even know the season finale was last night until I saw it pop up on my Twitter feed this morning. And even then, I couldn’t have cared less.

What season are we on anyway? 10? 11? (Editor’s Note: We’re on 9). Seriously? We’ve spent the past eleven nine years watching Simon Cowell give brutally mean comments, Paula’s very much missed outlandish (and drugged out) antics and a lot of Randy’s “Yo Dawg, I liked it, you got soul.” That’s a long, long time. We’ve also had two season with fame-whoring Kara and her bikini pics and, of course, Ellen’s musical “knowledge” once Paula was pushed out.

Anyway, here’s the lowdown on last night’s ep (which I gathered in 4 minutes on the Interwebs this morning): Lee Dwyze (the guy) won. The show invited singing “greats” such as Christina Aguilera, Janet Jackson and Rihanna to perform. There was a lot of singing, performing…and blah. The only good thing about last night’s finale was the return of Paulaaaaaaa. Yes. She was still her drugged out self but still; who doesn’t love pill-popping Paula?

Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not some never-watched-an-episode-and-just-wanna-spew-hate person. I used to be a fervent watcher of American Idol during the initial seasons of Kelly, Ruben, Fantasia and Carrie. It was simply a good reality show that proved that the power of a good voice could actually make an ordinary, just-like-us person, famous. And what’s more, it felt as if I was actually contributing to each winner’s rags-to-riches story! I religiously dialed the numbers every week, hoping and praying that my favorites were never in the bottom two.

But after eleven nine seasons, I truly think American Idol has run its course. While it was initially refreshing to watch a show that debuted a range of very talented (and very, very bad) singers, American Idol is now just another one of those reality shows banking on ratings, sponsors and viewership. And it’s a total snooze-fest. Ever since they brought on Kara as a judge, the show basically went down the pooper. She gives no helpful advice and has somehow tricked the producers into believing that she’s a good songwriter. Last season, when she stole the spotlight from “Bikini Girl” by coming on stage and shedding into her little bikini, I knew the show somehow lost its spark.

Plus, what takes those Idol peeps 3 hours to air each week could easily be shown in 90 minutes, tops. Sure, it was a sound investment of my time when the show was, I don’t know, GOOD, but now? Now it’s like a dreaded 5-credit class with that awful professor who can’t seem to work the projector. Do we really need so many close-up shots of Ryan speaking? And Miley acting as a “mentor” to the singers? Or all those flashbacks/home movies? NO. No, no, no.

With Simon leaving (who, by the way, is irreplaceable), the show is losing the only thing worth watching for. Between his tight tees, his snarky comments and that adorable bromantic relationship between him and Ryan, he made the show and everyone knows it. I know the people at Fox don’t want to admit it (and don’t want to lose their biggest money-maker), but no matter who they get to take his seat (Madonna??) American Idol without Simon is like The Hills without LC. It just won’t work.

American Idol had a good run, but it’s over. Let’s hug it out, say our goodbyes and move on…. to Simon’s new show.

Crisis: SATC 2 or Prince of Persia?
Crisis: SATC 2 or Prince of Persia?
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