Single. With a New Outlook

Summer in the city has officially arrived. If the massive crowds of people vying for towel space at the beach isn’t enough to lead you to that conclusion, the impressively well organized apartment crawls occurring on the north side of Chicago are a surefire sign. (For all you warm climate readers, apartment crawls aren’t as popular in the winter because no one wants to go meandering from apartment to apartment while their limbs slowly freeze off).

With the renewed party scene, all kinds of new friendships are being made among the few students left on campus for the summer. And by “friendships” I mean “that weird gray area that falls somewhere between more than a hook-up and not quite a relationship.”

Sure, these relationships pop up all year round, but there’s something about summer (the whole idea of being free? Of summer flings? The hot weather putting us all in heat?) that makes the not-so-serious relationship more prevalent than ever. On the one hand, it’s nice; why can’t we all indulge in a fun, no drama, low key “relationship” now and then? On the other, though, these sorta-relationships can make a girl (or guy!) go crazy. We all know this – we’ve all been there.

I’m there right now, dealing with an “in-betweener.”

I tried to be laid back about the whole thing, but the more relaxed I got, the more relaxed he got…. which made me crazy. So I did what any confused single girl would do: I drank some beers and vented to my guy friend. I expected him to give me the usual guy advice (“Meh, get over it and have more beer.”), but he provided some surprisingly enlightening insight on the topic. Shocking, I know, but from the mouth of a somewhat drunk frat boy came brilliance.

“I mean, if you’re confused about whether or not he likes you, he probably doesn’t. Or at least that’s not a good sign.”

It was like a giant, fluorescent light bulb went off above his sideways, flat-brimmed baseball hat.

This might not exactly be rocket scientist material, but it’s something that we girls often forget and need to hear. It is so easy to get caught up in the drama that comes from an uncertain (kind of, sort of, maybe, is this something?) relationship with some new guy. But when a guy likes you, really likes you, you know. It’s not confusing. Boys who like you will text you even if they’ve been crazy busy, they will actually call when they say they will, they will do whatever they can in their power to interact with you lest you find someone else to interact with. Yes, there will always be loopholes to that rule (we all know that ONE girl….), but most of the time it’s (sometimes depressingly) true.

So I’m hanging up my “over analyzing” hat and devoting my summer to not getting caught up in the confusion that those gray area relationships create. I’m going to have my fun, let it be what it is and see how it all pans out. Because, really, it’s not that complicated and I’ve got far more important things to focus on…. like getting the perfect beach spot (centrally located between the water, the shade and the bathroom) and planning next weekend’s apartment crawl.

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