5 Things That Should Be Outlawed from Dorms

Can you imagine hearing the incessant whimpering of a dog while trying to study in your dorm room? Well, it might not be too unrealistic of a nightmare/dream (depending on your take). An increasing amount of colleges are now permitting dogs in dorm rooms. Although they’re incredibly cute, how gross?! Like we really need something else to have to clean up or worry about. Aren’t moldy Ramen noodles and midterms enough? Not to mention the smell. We already have to deal with the smell of mildew wafting over from the guys’ floor, do we really need to throw in some wet dog too?

There’s a reason dogs aren’t allowed in dorms, so let’s just keep it that way, K? And while we’re at it, perhaps we should ban a few other things as well:

1. Microwave popcorn
Because no one seems to know how to make it without burning it.

2. Hair (in general)
OK, so I don’t think everyone should have to pull a Britney before unpacking in their 10X10 cells, but hair is gross. And somehow my shower flip-flops, carpet, and backpack are always covered in clumps of it….most of which does not belong to me.

3. Guitars
This past year, I was fortunate to have lived in the unofficial “artsy” dorm. If there wasn’t someone prancing down the hall in ballet slippers, there was a jam session taking place two doors down from me. Why exactly is this permitted? I’m all for musicians (of the male persuasion), but if I have to hear one more person messing up a Dave Matthews song….

4. Perfume/Cologne
Specifically Axe. How is it that no one knows how to use this responsibly? Sorry dude, but dousing yourself is cologne does not equal a shower.

5. Adults
Who doesn’t love when the parental units come to visit (and bring care packages)? Except when you think about all the empties you gotta throw away, the laundry you gotta do, and the clumps of hair you gotta vacuum up off that rug. Where is the vacuum in the dorm, anyway?

Glamour Says The Darndest Things: July Edition
Glamour Says The Darndest Things: July Edition
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