Single. And In a Relationship

OK, so clearly it’s impossible to be both single and in a relationship (unless you’re Tiger Woods or Jesse James, I guess…), but it’s true. And it’s the best and longest relationship I’ve ever had in my life.

Two years ago, the night before I was to head back to school after a long summer at home, I hooked up with a boy. I had met him through a few of my home friends and after a few too many shots, we ended up at his place. We had a great time. Yes, I probably should have felt a little shady about sleeping with a random on the first night, but I felt safe and comfortable. We had mutual friends, he was a good guy and, well, he was sexy.

The next morning I drove back to my parents’ house, explained to them that I didn’t come home the night before because I didn’t want to drive after I had some drinks (they commended me), then headed back to school. I figured I’d never see or hear from the kid again and that was fine by me.

But that’s not how it turned out. Since that fateful night back in 2008, we’ve spent many a night together. Whenever I’m back in town to see the family, we’ll meet up. And whenever he comes to visit his friends at my school (or uses that as an excuse to see me), he spends a night at my place. We have fun when we’re together (and really awesome cuddle sessions – he’s a great big spoon) and then we go our separate ways and do our own thing.

There are no expectations. No guilt trips. No games. It’s the most honest and straightforward relationship I’ve ever been in, including my last boyfriend who I dated for over a year. We both know what we want and need, and we’re open about it. And since our lives are so separate (we live in different places, we only have 2 mutual friends), it works perfectly. Unlike a Friends With Benefits situation where the two people have a history and whose lives are intertwined, we are merely two people who enjoy one another’s company and there is no potential for a messy ending.

I know there are many of you out there who are reading this right now and turning up your noses at the screen. You’ll call me a slut, you’ll tell me that you could never understand how anyone could sleep with someone they were not dating, etc. And until I met this boy, I would have totally agreed with you. Before him, I had only slept with 2 people, both of which were my boyfriends. But honestly, for the first time in my life, I feel totally in control of my situation and totally comfortable. I feel sexy and empowered and free. And best of all, I know exactly where I stand. I’m not sitting around waiting for him to call or wondering what he’s doing. I don’t make plans around him or let him affect my mood.

I just live my life and he fits in where he fits in. (Hm, probably not the best choice of words there….)

It may not work for some, but it’s working for me. I’ve got the best of both worlds and I’ve never been happier.

Coupled. And Giving Gifts
Coupled. And Giving Gifts
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