4 Very Good Reasons To Watch The World Cup

Once every four years, an event comes along that is so globally significant, so life altering, that it brings old men to tears.  No, I’m not talking about the presidential election or Olympic figure skating.  Ladies and gentlemen, dust off your vuvuzelas (no, that’s not something you need the gyno to find) and tune in to the World Cup.

Here are just a few reasons why you should pick a country to root for and watch:

1. “Going to bed now so I can head over to the pub at 6:30 tomorrow morning to watch the game.  Cheers!  Go USA!” The aforementioned away message greeted me when I IMed my currently-abroad best friend the other day.  I scratched my head for a moment, questioning the life choice at hand, but ultimately decided to shrug it off because a) do as the Romans New Zealanders do, b) I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be sober watching the World Cup, and c) AM drinking is totally acceptable and encouraged during the all-day, all-week, all-month World Cup Tournament. Win!

2. Those thigh stretches. You know the ones.  They’re like squats, but oh-so-much better.  Enjoy them pre-game until July 11th, because after the Cup is over you’ve gotta go back to being the creepy girl at the gym staring at the baseball team’s group workout.

3. Ricardo Kaká, Freddie Ljungberg, Yoann Gourcuff, David James. If you haven’t seen the faces and bodies that are attached to these names, then shame on you.  God invented Google Image so you can watch the World Cup with just as much enthusiasm as the guys.  While men might grimace at a robbed goal, you’ll be gritting your teeth every time a ball hits a beautiful face or stray cleat goes for a sculpted abdomen.

4. Upsets, upsets, and more upsets. Rooting for the underdog might pay off big (and impress the fellas) at this year’s games.  So far 32nd ranked Ghana beat 15th ranked Serbia, the US and UK tied in the opening game, and South Korea took down Greece to the shock of millions.  In soccer, the size of your population, the power behind your leader, or the intimidation in your military doesn’t matter.  The quest for World Cup domination is determined simply by who can get a ball in a net.

And, trust me, it’s quite exciting to watch.

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