Tuffy Luv Sez: Step Away From The Crap

Aunt Tuffy hurt her back and now she is CRANKY. Send your QUESTIONS, if you will to her EMAIL at [email protected] and MAYBE she’ll get BACK to you. BAAAAAACKKKK.

Okay, let’s go on with the show:

Dear Tuffy Love,

I’m a junior in high school and I’ve had this same boy problem for a long time. I’m hooking up with this kid right now and he’s a jerk. It’s probably a combination of him not having any interest in me besides hooking up and him being younger, but don’t worry, I understand. HE DOESN’T LIKE ME.

The problem is, this hasn’t stopped me from hooking up with him. For me, every time is “the last time” and I journal about it, and keep track and everything, but then I just have long dry spells and then I go get some more. Because he was my first kiss, he’s been the only guy in my life for awhile. Meanwhile, he has a whole bunch of girls hanging around him all the time. The last time we hooked up, he actually invited me to get food afterward (sadly, it was super shocking, because he usually just leaves). We argued about politics and religion and it hurt me because arguing about gay marriage while eating pizza IS something I’d love to do with a real boyfriend. Anyways, afterward he put up a bunch of Tweets about a “girl he loves” on Twitter, and I got the knot in the stomach again (the same one I got when he 1. Brought me in the city to ditch me, 2. Didn’t come to the picnic we planned when I was going to ask him to prom 3. After my first kiss, told me that he was in love with someone else). And just like every other time, I’M SICK OF IT.

When we’re hooking up it’s never “in the moment.” I have a rational head on my shoulders and I always take a few seconds to say “I can walk out right now if I want to” (which I’ve done once). Anyways, I have a big summer ahead with college applications and everything, and I don’t want this kid to be a distraction. Also, I don’t want to get in the habit of hooking up with loser boys in college. What can I say to myself, (if I ever get in this situation again) to make that decision to walk out the door? How can I rid my life of this child? And what can I do to make good character judgments of boys in the future so habits like THIS do not ever form again? And what should I do about him right now? (Block on FB? Never speak again? Delete twitter?)

Love,
I’m Better Than That

Dear I’m Better Than That,

Girl, you BETTER be better than that, ’cause THAT sucks!!!

You are absolutely right. He’s not into you, and he’s a jerkface. He is doing things that are not nice and, in Tuffy’s painkiller-drenched head, some grand prank is in order. BUT!! Do NOT pull a prank on this loserhead. He’s just not worth it. Not. Even. Flooping. Worth it.

Instead, here is my advice to you:

First off, try to meet some other guys!! Why is this moronbutt your go-to?! He sounds so lame, and he treats you like poo on a stick. Why don’t you go out with some friends and meet some new people? Heck, even getting set up on a blind date sounds better than spending another billionth of a second liplocked with this bloop!

Don’t delete your Twitter, but DO block HIM from your Twitter, and that goes double for Facebook. Write down his phone number and hide it somewhere in case you need it, but delete it from your phone so you’re not tempted to call. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, at least, every bit helps.

Write a list for yourself that has all the lousy, messed-up things he’s done to you on it. Keep it handy in case you start (misguidedly) missing him. Do you really want to be with a guy who is more than happy to do these things to you?! NO! NO NO NO!!!

In terms of your college apps: YES! Throw yourself into those boogers!! Make it a full-time project. Write wonderful essays and portfolios and whatever else you need, and make that your top priority. Not only will you have a much better chance of getting into your dream school, but you’ll also be priming your mind for the kind of concentration college demands. Plus, the less time to think about him, the better.

In your future Boy Endeavors, always ask yourself: (A) What do I want from this–a relationship or a hookup?, (B) What does HE want from this–a relationship or a hookup?, and (C) Do A and B match up?! Because, if not, kick ‘im to the curb.

Why you wanna be with someone who doesn’t care about you?! THERE IS NO POINT. A one-night stand is one thing–usually not fulfilling, but some people like ’em, and, hey, it happens sometimes, fine as long as you use condoms–but going back again and again?! Girl, you must be some kinda glutton for punishment and what all.

You know what you gotta do. Don’t contact him. Don’t respond when he contacts you. FORGET HIM and move on. There are SOOOOOO many better guys right over the College Rainbow. Go for the pot of gold and dump the pot of crap.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Seventeen Says the Darndest Things: June/July Edition
Seventeen Says the Darndest Things: June/July Edition
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