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Beer Pong Gets Serious


Remember those days when you spent your evenings in grimy basements accentuating your cleavage
to throw off your beer pong opponent’s game? Oh, that was last night? Awesome. While it seemed like a total waste of time or just a more exciting way to get really, really drunk, it turns out all that dedication might pay off.

Presenting: The World Beer Pong Tour, a real tournament with a real prize.
As in $25,000!!!

Do you have any idea how many Keystones that can get you? (No, really, do you? I’m too drunk to figure it out…)

Yes, I know. I didn’t even think this “tour” existed either. But it does and two very lucky and very skilled Sacramento boys just took home the loot.

All those nights we’ve spent getting ready, going to some randos’ apartment and playing beer pong with our girlfriends is finally paying off. (And you can explain this to your parents next time they lecture you on how much you’re partying!) No longer just a college pastime, people at the World Beer Pong Tour take this “sport(?)” very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that they don’t even use beer. According to them, water (yeah, that stuff you chug in the morning when you’re feeling like hell) is better because it doesn’t throw off your game like beer does.

Obviously they’ve never seen my blackout-behind-the-back toss that made me a champion.

But that’s beside the point. It’s exciting to see everyone’s favorite backyard game getting the respect it deserves! While beer pong was once merely a way to to get tipsy and an excuse to get close to that hot Australian who sits behind you in Comm (“Hey, wanna be my partner?”), it’s now your chance to pay off those student loans.

Next stop: the summer Olympics?

    Journalism student in awe of great language.