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What’s Up With All These Crazy Superfans?

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Young girls sobbing, clawing out at a stray shirttail, an errant sleeve, or maybe a baggy pant leg.  They shake with excitement and shout “I love you!” at the top of their lungs as the object of their affection passes by.  They are eternally grateful for even the smallest sign of acknowledgement, clinging to a wink or nod as a shipwrecked sailor might to floating debris.  Think I’m exaggerating?

As you read this, hundreds of Twilight fans are camping outside the Nokia Theatre in L.A. waiting for the red carpet premiere tomorrow…but most of them have been there since Monday!  Clad in Team Edward/Jacob t-shirts and waving blankets that depict the stars emerging from moody shadows, these loyal vamp lovers are holding their ground only to maybe score a wristband that allows them inside.  What happens if they’re denied?  Sadly, it’s back into their cars and on to home where they’ll have to wait for the nationwide premiere like everyone else.

Or what about the Christina Aguilera fan who just purchased 250 copies of the singer’s CDs?  In an effort to simultaneously “save Christina’s career” and take down Perez Hilton, who has lately been badmouthing the diva more than usual, the title of crazy superfan has found a new owner.  What makes this one person think they can actually have an effect on a huge star’s career?  Why would he even want to spend all that money on a favor that will never be returned?  Oh, and don’t give me that, “Her music is a favor I can never repay” type crap.  Xtina doesn’t care about you.

And who can forget Britney Spears’ most loyal fan?  Chris Crocker’s infamous “Leave Britney Alone” plea garnered nearly 32 million YouTube hits and became a sensation almost larger than Brit herself.  He sobs, wipes his running eye makeup, and yanks his frosted tips out of his enraged eyes as he chastises America from under the privacy of his bed sheet.

Sure, these are extreme cases of Superfanitis, but this heightened awareness of celebrity culture and the undying need to be absorbed in the action is getting more and more common.  Look at what happened when Twitter “un-trended” Justin Bieber or even when we here at CollegeCandy said Taylor Swift was overrated! (Editor’s Note: we seriously feared for our lives.)

People, why are you doing this?  Are you completely off your rocker, or is there some justification for patiently and happily waiting in the rain just to catch a glimpse of someone who would never do the same for you?  I must be missing something, because this unwavering devotion has become so common, it’s almost accepted as the norm.  Do you feel more a part of these stars’ lives when you obsessively know their favorite food, color, and most private stories?  If someone approached you on the street and recited the story of how that one time in the third grade you got pantsed in gym class, would you be a little horrified or would you want to marry that creeper and have a thousand babies?

Now, don’t think I’m above the fray.  I love a good celebrity break-up or unplanned pregnancy just as much as the next Us Weekly subscriber, but I think there is a difference between peeking into celebs lives and throwing yourself at their feet begging for an autograph or picture.  But such is life as a fan, and if you’re not willing to put your heart (and your dignity) on the line, you might as well step aside and make room for the truly crazy devoted.

COLLEGECANDY Writer