We all remember it: flipping violently through the book, pressing our nose against the hinge during the steamy tent scene while Jacob spooned with Bella and kept her warm. Gripping the pages while Edward and Bella lay in the giant bed he bought her, trying not to do the dirty out of fear that Edward would sink his fang teeth into the nape of her neck. . .
I’m going to need a moment….
Let’s face it: vampires versus werewolves might be the best thing that happened to pop culture since Bret Michaels’ Tour Bus and Facebook poking. And tonight this showdown comes to the forefront once again.
Today, for the third time, Twilight fans are camping outside of movie premiers, gripping their pre-purchased tickets, and kissing their Jacob Black posters before they prance to the premiere of Eclipse. Eclipse is the third (and best, in my opinion) installment of the Twilight saga. Why is Eclipse the best portion of the saga? Two words: vampires vs. werewolves. Want more? Edward Cullen vs. Jacob Black.
It’s the epic battle between vampires and werewolves that has us wondering once again: who reigns supreme? Is it Jacob or Edward? We’re going to break it all down for you here, then you tell us who comes out on top.
We’ve got Jacob’s luscious washboard abs paired with a perfected tan versus Edward’s sparkling ashen skin under a ray of sunshine.
Jacob: Pretty abs would mean periodic scenes which take place unclothed, in the rain.
Edward: Since sparkling in the sunshine would risk exposing his identity as a vampire, Eddie provides periodic scenes which take place in dark, mysterious nooks (i.e. forests, bedrooms, meadows).
Don’t forget Jacob’s body temperature is a sizzling 110 degrees, while Edward sits in a temperature equal to a cold pre-historic stone rock. Would you rather be boiling in bed next to Jacob or freezing your precious buns off cuddling up to the rock-wall that is Edward Cullen?
It’s Jacob’s saucy red motorcycle versus Edward’s shiny silver Volvo S60 R.
I couldn’t help but let this remind of of a comparison between Justin Bobby and Ryan Cabrera. Duh, Justin Bobby would be wheeling around a juiced motorcycle and Mr. Chia-Pet-Head, Ryan Cabrera would handle his noble steed, Volvo. Then, I got grossed out and had to move on. Are you more of a ride-like-the-wind sorta gal, or a fancy-car-that-goes-fast kinda lady?
While Jacob basks in a ripe age of 17, Edward relaxes within a wise age of 104… going on 17.
Age always depends on the person. For me, I try to date someone older by give or take five years. But, if 104 years old is your style and the dude looks a healthy age of 17, by all means, get it girl.
Jacob’s imprinting skills versus Edward’s ability to hear others thoughts and never sleep.
In case you’re not a teenie-bopper-going-on-22 like myself, you may not know what ‘imprinting’ is. Let me define: Imprinting is behavioral phenomenon among shapeshifters where a shapeshifter finds his or her soul mate [Shapeshifter: See Werewolf]. In life down on earth, ducks are also known to imprint. Call me crazy, but Jacob can imprint his furry werewolf arse on me any day. And Edward? He never sleeps and can hear everything I’m thinking? Seems a little creepy to me. Just sayin’.
Jacob engulfs a sweet demeanor as fluffy as his werewolf coat and Edward’s romantic one-liners are as sharp and tantalizing as his fang vampire teeth.
Jacob is always super sweet to Bella. After pronouncing his love for her he exclaimed, “I’m just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time.” Cue the syrupy awwws. Sweet right? But don’t worry, since Edward was born in 1918, he’s full of beautiful, poetic verse as well. “I prefer brunettes.” Edward Cullen, everybody!
Alright, we’ve laid it out for you, now it’s time for you to decide: vampires or werewolves?