Now Showing: Eclipse

[Ladies, meet Meredith, the newest addition to the CollegeCandy team. She’s a BU student, a movie buff, and an all around fantastic chicadee. She’ll be our resident movie gal, givings us the ins and outs of the new releases and telling us whether or not its worth it to fork over $12 for the latest flicks.]

I firmly believe that every article about the Twilight series should come with an author disclaimer (especially those found on the Internet). So here goes mine: I am not a Twilight fanatic. I read the first book back when it came out and enjoyed it. I read the first five pages of the second book and it bored me so much that I could not finish anymore of it. When the first movie came out, a few friends and I went to see it, but everyone in the theater was laughing because it was pretty corny.

I really wanted to see New Moon for two reasons: curiosity of what I didn’t know because I hadn’t read the book AND Taylor Lautner’s abs. I would also like to point out that no one would go see the movie with me so I dragged my now-boyfriend when we were in the just-friends stage to see it. I know, it’s a shock that he still wanted to be my boyfriend (at least he already knew about my obsession with Taylor Lautner’s bod).

There are really four main characters in Eclipse. You have Jacob, the wolf boy. Then there’s Edward Cullen, Mr. “Old School” Eternal Love. He claims to be a vampire, but I have yet to see any aversion to garlic or the Catholic Church, so I’m not convinced. Bella Swan is the gorgeous protagonist, also known as the girl who you would expect to be interesting, considering there are so many sexy men in love with her, but she falls short in that regard. By the way the wolf boy and the alleged vampire talk, it seems as though they are more in love with her “scent” than anything else. It’s pretty creepy stuff. The final main character is Kristen Stewart’s scene-stealing wig. Try not to notice it. I dare you.

This is the third movie in the series, so it’s about time for Bella and Edward to settle down. He wants to marry her. She wants to become a vampire. Jacob loves Bella and wants to protect her. Oh, and there’s some guy creating an army of vampires, presumably to come after Bella and the Cullens.

Ah, eternal love. Isn’t it such a lovely concept? Well, it’s at least one that a lot of fourteen-year-old girls have become obsessed with thanks to this franchise. I actually admire Bella in the opening scene when she reminds Edward that two out of three marriages end in divorce. Then, I remembered that her logic makes absolutely no sense because whether or not she marries Edward, she still wants to become a vampire and live happily ever after. Bella met Edward in high school and she is making the decision to be with him forever. She insists on changing herself to be more like him as well. Keep in mind that this girl has yet to even graduate high school, so that tells you how long they’ve been together.

Maybe we all want to believe that love can last forever, but I want to believe that there is something much more desirable than what Bella is choosing. And that’s life. No, I’m not referring to just having a heartbeat and breathing. I’m talking about life experiences. About five minutes of the film take place in Bella’s high school with her non-vampire “friends,” so it seems as though she has chosen Edward over high school experiences and genuine friendship. She has also chosen to eternally commit herself to the first guy that she’s fallen in love with. The scary thing is, Edward doesn’t seem to mind. He objects to her desire to become a vampire, because he doesn’t want to take away her life, but he never pushes her to experience. Her father, Charlie, encourages her to spend time with other friends, such as Jacob, but it’s a hopeless cause. If you had a month or two left to be a human, what would you do? Because Bella has chosen to stare longingly into her boyfriend’s eyes and not much else. Love is an amazing thing, but does she have no other interests? You would think that worldly Edward Cullen, who’s over one hundred years old, would know that there’s more to life and would encourage Bella to take advantage of what life has to offer her.

I’m not really that surprised that Bella has decided to skip out on new life experiences considering NO ONE IN ANY OF THE TWILIGHT MOVIES CAN HAVE AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION. I’m sorry, that’s harsh. But it’s true. If your boyfriend was born in 1901, wouldn’t you want to talk to him about cool stuff, like, “Hey, what was it like to experience two world wars, women’s suffrage, the civil rights movement, and see Audrey Hepburn movies in theaters?” Maybe I’m a history nerd, but I feel like that’s a better conversation starter than, “Let’s get married.” “Let’s not.” “Make me a vampire.” “No.”

The movie is better than the first two. I actually think that Kristen Stewart is becoming a better actress (hopefully her wig will catch up one day). Luckily, Taylor Lautner spends a lot of the movie shirtless, which definitely got me through some boredom and frustration. And I’m still holding out hope that in the next movie, Bella will decide to backpack across Europe, try to sail around the world, adopt a puppy, get a hobby, or maybe even make some friends before she gives up her life for the first guy she fell in love with.

Celebrity Dating Advice: How To Get Your Man to Commit
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