The Hills: Lo and Steph Disrupt a Yoga Class

"Let's go to this relaxing yoga class and disrupt everyone while we gossip in Downward Dog!"

With the series finale of The Hills coming up next week (moment of silence….) it seems the producers tried to pack as much as they could into last night’s episode. For the first time in history we only got one long stare (between Stephanie and her motorcycle man)! But that might have something to do with the fact that Audrina was M.I.A. And besides the gratuitous 30 seconds of booty shots before the crew walked into the club, most of the episode was actually things happening:

Stephanie Meets a Boy
And despite Brody’s attempts to scare him off, her weirdly giant hair on their date, and the fact that she can’t drink, he actually likes her! I still don’t understand what the big deal is about ordering soda on a date – both of them mentioned feeling weird about it – but whatever. Steph has her own sorta-Justin Bobby now so yay for her.

Mama Montag Comes to Town
And Holly puts on all the makeup she has on her vanity to welcome her. Seriously, she looked like a Geisha. I was sorta hoping we’d see Mama bang on Heidi’s door and then get dragged away by the cops as Spencer threw crystals at her, but all I got was a little crying over brunch. There’s always next week, right? RIGHT?!

Lo Celebrates her One Year Anniversary
And toasts her adorable BF with a shot. God, I love that girl. And I love that boy. They are so cute together and their post-date snuggle sesh officially goes down as the cutest moment in Hills history. We haven’t seen adorableness like that since Brody came out of Kristin’s room in her crop top LC and Justin cuddled up on the porch of their Malibu beach house after she skipped Paris to spend the summer with him. Let’s just hope Lo’s man doesn’t start doing drugs and punching bouncers outside of bars.

Frankie Falls off a Bike
Homeboy needs some training wheels.

Kristin Professes her Love for Brody and Gets Shot Down
Sigh. This whole thing makes me want to scream. Much like the Vienna/Jake interview, I wasn’t sure who I wanted to punch more in this little scenario. We’ve got Kristin who plays games with Brody for two years and pretends she wants nothing more than a little boom boom when everyone (except Brody, apparently) knows that’s not the case. And then we’ve got Brody who pretended to not know that Kristin wanted more than boom boom just so he could get some for two years while he waits for another Playboy bunny (or Avril Lavigne??) to come along. Seriously, dude? That’s the pussiest move I’ve ever seen. I know Brody isn’t the sharpest tack in the drawer, but he does know his way around a lady and he definitely knew what he was doing. He can blame this entire thing on poor KK (“It’s too late”), and she deserves some of the blame for never speaking up, but he knew exactly what he was doing and is a super selfish prick for messing with one of his friends.

Hm. I guess I do know who I want to punch more. Watch your back, Brody…. and Jake Pavelka!

Whew. Just recapping that episode wiped me out. Good thing I have a week to recover before the giant series finale. Will LC come back? Will Heidi come out of hiding? Will she have even bigger boobs? Will Justin Bobby propose to Audrina? Will Brody chase Kristin as she (fake) leaves LA? Will we finally learn how Stacie knows Kristin? Will Ryan Cabrera make a cameo in jorts?

It’s gonna be an hour so anything’s possible! OMG I can’t wait.

Candy Dish: Jon Stewart is Not a Sexist Jerk!
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