While most of us were sobbing our Thursday night away when Bethenny got married (which was, btw, the sweetest thing ever), the rest of America was glued to ESPN, waiting for Lebron “King” James to make his announcement about which baskeball team he would sign with next. Inevitably, all the hype surrounding the one-hour special was anti-climatic, but it did help Lebron and ESPN make $1.5 million, which they will donate to the Boys and Girls club.
Needless to say, Lebron SHOCKED everyone and decided he was going to sign with the Miami Heat and leave his hometown Cleveland sad and lonely. People were angry, like really angry. Even Cavs owner Dan Gilbert wrote an open letter to Cleveland fans, calling the whole Lebron James decision “a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with the national TV special of his ‘decision’ unlike anything ever ‘witnessed’ in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.” (Ouch Mr. Gilbert, would you like to chew on this chill pill?)
Anyway, while the rest of the U.S continues to hate Lebron for pursuing his ambitions (he really wants to win), we here at CollegeCandy really aren’t surprised that Lebron would say TTFN to Cleveland and “What Up!?” to Miami. I mean, it’s Miami…we get it.
Miami, Florida. Um, DUH. Seriously, this is Miami we’re talking about. It has palm trees, beaches, scantily clad girls and a lot of hot clubs, at which loads of the biggest celebs get their party on. What does Cleveland have? The title of “Most Miserable City in the Country.”
Miami Ink. Lebron loves a good tat and there’s got to be an inch or two of free space on that 6’8 frame for a new one. And if you’re the best (“The Chosen One,” to be more specific), you gotta go to the best. And the best tattoo dudes aren’t at Cleveland Ink, they’re at Miami Ink.
The Kardashians. Oh, this is a big one. Y’all know the Kardashian girls love their muscley, athletic men (Okay, maybe except Kourtney but Scott is a douche bag and it’s time she trade up), and based on their past relationships, it seems those muscley, athletic men like them right back. It makes sense, then, that if Lebron decides to leave his baby mama, he’ll want to be nice and close to some major Armenian action.
The Miami Heat. They’ve got Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and now Lebron. Honestly, from a basketball standpoint, this could be a career turner for Lebron. As a player, he’s been compared to Michael Jordan and Oscar Robertson. Lebron has never won a championship with the Cavaliers, and knowing him (or any professional athlete), he really, really wants to win.
Space from Delonte West. Rumors swirled recently that Lebron’s mom Gloria James may have been doing the dirty with his teammate Delonte West. (Let that sink in….) No one confirmed this but still, getting Mama James as far away from Big D as possible seems like a splendid reason to move on down to Miami.
OK, so I do feel bad for Cleveland – Lebron was their golden child – but let’s be real here, peeps: is anyone really surprised by this?