Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Guy: “I have a goldfish.”
Girl: “….. What?”
Guy: “I thought we were talking about things that don’t matter.”
There’s nothing that says I’m a creeper more than a terrible pick-up line comparing your eyes to the Pacific ocean (or the Gulf of Mexico, eeks). Maybe the only way to fix this creeper catastrophe is to take the bull by the horns…. and hope it doesn’t blow up in your face.
Unfortunately, though, sometimes a creeper manages to slide under your radar and you actually end up dating for a few months. Long enough that you are at a gift-exchanging stage. You spend weeks looking for a perfect gift, scouting out tickets on StubHub, hoping all of your hard work will be rewarded with THE blue box. Nope. Instead you get a Build-a-Bear (hello junior high) or something equally as inappropriate.
Or worse, this happens.
Yeah. If all this isn’t a sign that you shouldn’t pick up dudes at the bar, I don’t know what is.