The Hills Is Ending…It’s Spin-Off Time!

It’s the end of an era. After 6 seasons of fake drama, long and uncomfortable staring, and fights over cocktails that no one seems to pay for, The Hills is coming to an end tonight. There are many rumors surrounding tonight’s one-hour episode, like whether Speidi will make an appearance, if LC will show up and if Audrina and JB will get back together. I don’t know what is going to happen but after watching 101 episodes of the show, I know one thing for sure: nothing is really going to happen at all.

Still, just knowing that the final episode of The Hills is a mere 6 hours away has me all torn up inside. It’s like saying goodbye to your best friends on the last day of sleep away camp. Or packing up at the end of freshman year. I’m sad.  I’ve known The Hills kids for longer than some of my friends. We’ve been through so much together, from LC and Jason’s epic break-up to Whitney’s departure to New York to the crash and burning of Lauren and Heidi’s relationship. And now, after 40 minutes of “drama”, 20 minutes of commercials, and an aftershow with those two really annoying MTV people, it’s just going to end. And I’ll be left with nothing but a gaping hole in my heart and nothing to watch on Tuesday nights.

The only thing getting me through this time of heartache and pain is the hope that, in true MTV fashion, one or more of our favorite Hills cast members will get a spin-off. And if that’s the case, I have an idea of what those shows will be:

Stare Down With Audrina Patridge:
In this half-hour game show, contestants will face Audrina Patridge for a staring contest. The rules are simple: the one who blinks first loses and has to have a 30 minute conversation with Ms. P while running their finger’s through Justin Bobby’s hair. The one who wins takes home a brand new set of boobs.

Justin Bobby: Who Can Stand Me?:
Much like The Bachelor, Rock of Love and For the Love of Ray J, Justin Bobby invites 12 women to an oversized mansion in L.A. to compete for his love. But instead of giving out fedoras in “the most dramatic fedora ceremony yet,” Justin just acts like himself, mumbles about love and burps at dinner. The woman who can stand him the longest wins a spot on the back of his motorcycle.

Stephanie Pratt: The Sober Life
Follow Ms. Pratt as she attempts to live her post-DUI life sans Vodka Red Bulls. Can she go on dates without having a glass of wine? Shop without an early morning mimosa?? This one’s so chock full of drama it will get a full hour of MTV prime time.

Ryan Cabrera: Surreal Life
That’s the show for washed-up has beens, right?

Lo Bosworth: How to be Normal in L.A.
Lo hits the mean hallways of LAX to ambush the new crop of ladies making their way west to make their “dreams come true.” Before they can hit the California sunshine and get brainwashed by the Heidi Montags of the world, Lo sits them down and gives them a crash course on staying low-key and fabulous in the city of Angels. With special guest appearances by her adorable boyfriend, of course.

Brody Jenner: Bromance
Oh wait… that one already happened.

The Post-Grad Journey: It’s Time To Meet The LSAT!
The Post-Grad Journey: It’s Time To Meet The LSAT!
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