Ah, summer. The temperatures rise, the air thickens, our tans darken (unless you work in an office like me), and we go back to the old friends from home that we haven’t spent much time with in the past year. But among the mass of people you used to see all the time in high school, there are six different types of people that you will never see over your long summer vacation at home.
The Facebooker (or The Texter): She writes on your wall. She texts you. Every. Week. “OMG, when am I seeing you??” “What are you doing tonight? Can we make plans?!” She’s always in contact with you, but when you actually want to make plans, she’s vague and flaky. There’s always a conflict in your schedules, and she can never hang out even though she’s all up on your Facebook, sending you notifications like there’s no tomorrow and keeping the red light on your BlackBerry constantly flashing. Get it together, girl — do you want to hang out with me or not?!
The In-Class Friend: You were great friends in AP English, and AP biology, and AP calculus. She was that one cool girl you found amongst the nerds in your classes, and she helped you get through every last one. You got along really well, and you genuinely liked each other. You’d share notes, study together, laugh at your teacher’s ridiculous outfits, and share hilarious weekend stories on Monday morning. But that’s it. Once that bell rang every day, you didn’t really talk much. You’d actually like to hang out with her and catch up, but you’re in completely different circles of friends, haven’t texted her since your group project senior year, and basically lost touch in college, so it just never happens. But you can’t help wondering what she’s up to…
The Girl Who’s Always Working: She’s a bit of an over-achiever. She’s got an internship in the city, two weekend jobs, and a babysitting job at night. This girl is literally NEVER available; she’s either working or too exhausted to hang out. She wants to hang out with you, but she barely has time to breathe, let alone text you. She’s concentrating on building her resume and fattening her wallet this summer instead of soaking up the rays by the pool. You don’t really like it, but you can’t help but respect her for being in an office at 10AM on a Monday instead of sleepily rolling out of bed to go downstairs to eat last night’s leftover sesame noodles for breakfast. Not that any of us do that. Ever.
The Hideaway: This girl is legit MIA. You see her once in awhile, and then she just completely disappears. She’s never on Facebook, doesn’t answer her phone, and never contacts you. You often wonder if she is still alive. You have no idea what she’s up to this summer, except for that she’s taken it upon herself to completely isolate herself from the world. And the worst part is, she’s actually a fun friend who would bring something to the group. But she doesn’t. Because she’s nowhere to be found.
The Girl Who Got a Boyfriend at College: This girl was THE BEST — until she got a boyfriend. She was that one friend who was always up for a froyo date, a spin class, or a kegger. But now she’s with him — ALL the time. She’s always planning her next visit to see him or going to the zoo with him or going to the beach with him or going back to school with him or video chatting with him or posting pictures on Facebook of the two of them in sepia Apple Photo Booth pictures. She used to be awesome, but now she’s got her boy whipped and is psyched about it. She’s never around, and even when you do see her on an extremely rare occasion (a.k.a. when her boyfriend has a funeral or a doctor’s appointment), she’s preoccupied with texting him, or doesn’t shut up about how amazing he is and how much she misses him. She views your single life as a phase she’s totes over (“I’m just so not into the whole random hookup thing anymore”), and makes you feel bad for not feeling the same way.
The Annoying One You Choose Not to See: The day you graduated, you bade this girl fare-freakin’-well and never looked back. She followed you around in high school and was obsessed with you and everything about you, but you never felt the same way about her. You politely invited her to things in high school because you felt bad, but as soon as you went to college, you knew you never would have to hang out with her again. She’s essentially “the friend nobody likes.” Now she won’t leave you alone, and you can’t stand it. You hate being a jerk, but you constantly have to blow her off by passing yourself as any of the girls above.