While perusing (and by “perusing” I mean obsessively checking and re-checking) Facebook for the fourth time yesterday, I noticed that no one had done anything since the last time I logged in (an hour before). In a fit of never ending boredom that made signing off impossible, I decided to look at pictures of me.
Of the 300ish photos of me, 250 involved drinking and 249 of those involved me making some sort of awful face. Not like “I wasn’t ready for the camera” awful; more like, “I am going to make the ugliest face I can think of” awful. The sad part is that I can distinctly remember taking most of those pictures and consciously making the faces that are now staring back at (and horrifying) me.
I even giggled as I made one of my uglier faces and poked my head into what would have been a cute picture of friends. Why did I ever think that was a good idea?
Self Reflective Beer Goggles, that’s why.
It’s like the minute the beer hits my lips, I am somehow unable to take a picture without doing something completely stupid. Whether it is an awful face, mimicking oral sex with a beer bottle or thinking of a ridiculous scenario (“Your boyfriend just asked you to pee on him”) before snapping a selfie, I always look horribly, terrifyingly, bad.
You know you’ve been there. Go ahead; log onto Facebook right now and take a look at drunken pictures of you and your friends. I guarantee Self-Reflective Beer Goggles make an appearance. Many appearances, in fact.
I have been a victim of beer goggles many times in my life — I even once sported them for an entire 10-day cruise — but I never realized that they affect more than the way I see men. They affect the way people (like everyone on Facebook – hi mom!) see me!
At least, unlike kicking an ugly/short/hairy stranger out of your bed in the morning, this is easy to remedy; a simple un-tagging will do it.
Do you have SR Beer Google issues? What do you think about the druken Facebook picture epidemic?