Single. Accidentally on a Date?

Earlier this week, I went on a date. Yes, a real live college date. They’re rare, but apparently they didn’t go the way of the Tyrannosaurus Rex and do still exist.

I agreed to grab dinner with a guy who had been in my honors seminar this past semester and I didn’t think anything of it. When he came to get me before dinner, I just figured it was on his way or something. But then he paid for dinner and insisted that we go to a movie… and it was around there that I started to catch on.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against dates. Nothing at all! Hell, in the hook-up culture that is college, I like the idea of them. It’s a lot easier to get to know someone when you’re sober (and not already making out…). But I had forgotten how SO not enjoyable first dates are. Seriously, it was like an interview, but a really, really, REALLY weird interview. With awkward silences. And flirting.

The thing is, I knew this guy. We had always had a great time making fun of our professor during class and even had a considerable amount in common aside from our shared hatred of the reading assignments. He is a genuinely cool, funny, nice guy. But as we sat at a small table for two, something was oh so clearly off. Unlike our endless witty banter that took us through an entire semester, there were long pauses. He seemed nervous. It just wasn’t the same kid I knew from lecture.

And it was weird.

All this time being single, I thought that all I wanted was to go on a date with a genuinely nice guy. I wanted to be wined and dined and wooed. But when I accidentally stumbled onto a date, I was so not into it. I don’t know, maybe it was because I was surprised/confused, maybe it’s just that I don’t think of him that way, maybe it’s because dating isĀ  awkward and I don’t really know how to do it, maybe it’s because I can’t stop thinking about how much fun I would have on dates with my ex…

The list could go on for decades, but I think that what it ultimately comes down to is that maybe I am a lunatic and don’t know what I want.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. When I wasn’t dating, I wanted nothing more than to roll around in that lush grass with the perfect boy. And now that I have a very strange first date under my belt, I want to hop back over to the other side of the fence where none of the confusion of dating can get to me.

God, can’t a single girl catch a break?

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