Sexting 101 – Yes, It’s a Real Class

Apparently ridiculous college courses are the new trend on campuses all over the world.  I’d go so far as to call them “unnecessary,” but the 440 people who just enrolled in Potsdam University’s e-mail flirtation class would beat down my door (or fill my inbox…) in disagreement.  Yes, you read that right- one German university is actually offering a master’s course on how to flirt via modern technology.  It promises to give you the skills to “get someone else’s heart beating fast while yours stays calm.”

At first glance, I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard; seriously, a class that teaches nerds to be better sexters?  But really, it’s probably going to be really helpful to some of these people.  Everyone deserves to know how to drop a well-placed “Did U know I used 2 be a gymnast?” or a “Miss ur face, come get in my bed.”

Of course, this got me to thinking; what are some other quirky classes that college students actually need?  (I mean, beyond all that Astronomy…tooootally going to use that one day!)

The Kitchen Beyond Ramen

I’m not talking three days a week learning how to create the perfect gazpacho; rather an overview of the basics.  This is what a tablespoon of sugar looks like, note it is significantly smaller than a cup.  Here is how you hard-boil an egg, and yes we keep the shell on for the boiling process.  Your final would be an open-ended challenge to create a balanced three-course dinner; the catch being that cereal could not be incorporated in any way.

Texting for Dummies (also see: Put the Phone Down 101)

I know you’ve been there.  Walking to class behind someone who just has to recount every excruciating detail of last night through a text message the length of a Great American Novel.  They walk slowly down the center of the brick walkway, tripping here and there.  Between glancing at your watch and trying to cut around the moron, you’re half waiting for her to go down like a Jenga tower and take out that pack of unsuspecting freshmen.  While it’s completely the norm to be “pro-text”, this class will show you how to be “anti-pain-in-the-ass” while your thumbs type away.  First lesson: just pull off sidewalk and find a bench.

Navigating the One Night Stand
(First year requirement)

You’re lying awake.  He’s right there next to you, eyes closed, drooling on your favorite pillow.  He has to leave.  Now.  Do you get out of bed and start making noise around the room, hoping he’ll get the hint?  Do you poke him?  Maybe you just put on your best bitch-face and tell him to get out.  Bottom line: there’s no easy way to navigate the morning after, especially when you’ve got a headache the size of a bottomless Long Island pitcher.  Perhaps if there were some ground rules, ones that were universally acknowledged and actually respected, the awkward moments would be few and far between.

Beer Pong (see also: Beirut Is Not Just a City)

Few things beat the feeling of landing that little ping-pong ball in a red solo cup five feet away, especially when you’re playing against some seriously hot guys.  Sad thing is, for most of us those moments are rare- like finding shooting stars and comets and J.Crew outlets.  Sure, you can throw a ball in a cup when it’s just you and your roommates playing on the back deck.  But mix in some nerves and a strapless dress, however, and…err…can someone hold my top up while I try to sink this shot?  Everyone needs a class to teach them how to tackle depth perception, high-pressure situations, and Natty Light buzzes.

Maxim Says The Darndest Things: August Edition
Maxim Says The Darndest Things: August Edition
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