[We ladies spend a lot of time wondering what guys are thinking, most often over stiff drinks or soupy ice cream. Unfortunately, besides The Dude, we don’t often get the chance to really find out. So we continue speculating, wondering and growing more and more self-conscious by the minute. Not anymore. CollegeCandy’s got a new guy in town who is going to open up his man brain and enlighten us as to what exactly goes on in there. Prepare yourselves, girls; I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting ride.]
Fact: There is nothing more intimate than having sex with another person. After all, you’re completely naked and vulnerable, and everything is out in plain sight. So unless you’re that old, beer-bellied guy that is always alone and naked at the nude beach, that level of intimacy is going to make you a little nervous.
And then there’s the whole “performance” aspect (Are you doing it right? Does it feel right? Is that face sexy or creepy?), which gets enhanced ten-fold when oral sex is involved. Oral is pretty uncomfortable for everyone (mentally, hopefully not physically), but can get extremely nerve-wracking for most women. I get it; who wouldn’t be self conscious and wonder what her guy is thinking when he is up close and personal with her most private of areas? But all that thinking can really ruin a marvelous experience, and what’s the point of us putting in all that work if you’re not going to enjoy it?
So let’s take a moment to find out what your guy is thinking while he’s orally fixated on you so you can stop thinking and start having some fun.
1. Female Hygiene
This is at the top of every guy’s mind right before he begins pleasing a woman orally. While he is kissing your stomach and trying to get directions from your body language, which at this point is practically screaming at him to go south already, he is also trying to figure out your hygiene situation. Two things are running through his mind before he gets too close to the promised land:
1) What’s the landscaping going be like?
2) Please let it be free of any odor.
Now, the latter is the real deal breaker for most guys (by most, I mean 99.9%. The last .1% of guys have stuffy noses and couldn’t smell if they wanted to). Guys can work around different types of female grooming and truthfully, it’s like an exciting adventure. We really can’t wait and anticipate it like a surprise. Don’t worry if your landing strip designed to land a Cessna can now land a Boeing, most guys won’t really care and we understand that you don’t carry a razor in your purse. However, any kind of unpleasant odor and your chances for oral stimulation are out the door.
Guys are not impervious to insecurities like most women think. We want to please our partners and be remembered (and talked about the moment we walk out the door – yeah, we know how it goes) as great lovers. It is no different when it comes to going down on our lady. During the act, we are mainly concerned with how good our tongue technique is and if it’s delivering the desired effect.
Does it look/sound like she likes it? If not, is it oral sex in general or how I do it?
Am I doing it right?
Should I make her have an orgasm? Can I make her have an orgasm?
Hopefully, your guy answers “yea, yea, yea, and hell yea.” And hopefully he doesn’t get so into his thoughts that he forgets why he’s down there in the first place.
There is one thought lingering on the back of your guy’s mind while he’s making his Southern Expedition and that is whether or not you’ll return the favor. This is anything but work for us, but we would like to be rewarded for our foreplay efforts with a little fellatio. And by “a little” we mean a lot. Guys love it (a lot a lot), but believe it or not, we’re sometimes too shy to ask for it.
So there you have it – the low down on the go down. When it comes down to it, all we really want to do it please you and while we may not seem to stress about it, we definitely think about it. Often. We ask our friends how they do it, if they do it, and when to do it. We try new things and hope for new results. We worry that we’re just not good enough. All because we want you to enjoy yourself.
Oral sex isn’t every guy’s cup of tea, so if your guy is taking the initiative to give you this kind of pleasure, embrace it and remember: don’t forget to tip.