Today’s a big day, people.
If you, like me, don’t have a DVR to record the high-drama and hot messes both shows provide, it can be difficult picking where to get your fill of “reality” from. But don’t start stressing just yet. I’ve put a lot of thought (it’s embarrassing how much thought…) into weighing the pros and cons of spending tonight with the juiceheads on Jersey Shore or the token straight guy who talks sh*t about the token flamboyantly gay guy on Project Runway. Perhaps I can be of some assistance:
The Situation’s Muscles vs. Tim Gunn’s Suits
Is this one even really a contest? While The Situation’s buff bod was a shocker at first (with that face, who knew those abs were under there?), the novelty has since worn off. He flaunted those things on the red carpet, all over MTV, most parts of America…just make it stop!
Tim Gunn, however, never gets old. And neither do his fabulous suits. I fall asleep at night wondering whether he’ll do a tone-on-tone shirt and tie combo or spice it up with a nice pinstripe.
Tim for the win every single time…why can’t all men have his style?
Snooki’s Accent vs. Heidi’s Accent
Watching our favorite Oompa Loompa let the F-bombs fly as she speed talks and waves her acrylic fingernails in the air is one of my guiltiest pleasures. The fact that I’m from New Jersey and know real-life people (only a few) who ramble a mile a minute with the same amount of passion and cursing only makes it that much more satisfying to laugh at.
I absolutely love Heidi crushing people’s dreams of fashion stardom with her austere German accent. Only she can manage to look totally friendly while aufiderzein-ing contestants week after week.
I’m going to have to vote Germany over Jersey on this one. Sorry, Snooks.
Down-the-Shore “Fashion” vs. Inevitable Boring Couture Creations
Seeing as how JS has moved to Miami, it’ll be interesting to see if JWOWW still sports cutout spandex dresses or if she just won’t bother covering up at all. But do we really want to see all she has to offer shoved into a bikini top and short-jorts as she grinds in the strobe light?
On the other hand, are they going to make the designers create something out of nothing again? It was cool the first time watching burlap sacks turn into ball gowns, and even when they did it again using just plain muslin. But really? One more bubble skirt and I’ll get violent with the TV.
Boardwalk Struts vs. Runway Walks
Or should I say “boardwalk stumbles”? We all know what happens when you put Snooki in four inch heels and make her walk over uneven wooden planks. Not exactly smooth sailing.
Meanwhile, watching models strut their stuff down the catwalk makes me rethink the bag of chips that may or may not be open next to me as I watch.
One should never feel guilty for eating delicious Sun Chips. Snooki wins this one.
Final Tally: Project Runway- 2.5; Jersey Shore- 1.5
Looks like you know where my vote lies when it comes to premium reality TV watching. I guess I’ll just have to catch up with Jersey Shore later tonight….or tomorrow….or the next day….or during any of the 416,782 reruns that MTV shows this week.
Feel like swaying my mind? Weigh in below.