[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we followed Christie on her quest to stop gossiping. The first few days were rough, but she made it through and learned a lot along the way.]
This week was the final week of my month long challenge to not gossip. At first, I had to make a conscious effort to resist the temptation, but it became easier and easier to not gossip. I am currently getting ready to move into my apartment, attend a wedding, and go on job interviews out the ying so there has been plenty that has kept me busy and not gossiping.
This past month has taught me that gossiping is a complete waste of energy. My confidence began to improve greatly, because I felt good being nice. I also gained a lot of respect from my friends and family. I got lots of supportive texts, and messages on Facebook. Cutting gossip out of my life also got rid of a lot of drama and anxiety. Instead of wasting time and energy fretting about things that never even come to pass, I was all smiles and enjoying myself. Most importantly, though, I have had time to focus on more important things, like filling out applications instead of using that time to talk for hours about who is dating who.
A lot of you guys commented on my first article saying that you have wanted to stop gossiping for some time. Now I hope you guys see it isn’t an unattainable goal. If I can do it, so can you. I’ve made it a whole week without gossiping (except for the occasional vent, but as I said in the beginning, I reserve the right to be a cantankerous bitch sometimes) and it wasn’t even hard.
My tips for those of you who want to get rid of this nasty (and hurtful) habit:
Change the subject. Try to change the subject to a more positive one.
Distract them. “Hey, let’s go get some coffee, I’m so tired and don’t think I can make it through my next class without a cup.” It’s an easy way to ease into talking about something else.
Don’t respond, other than to say something positive about the person in question. If you always have something positive to say about the person that is being gossiped about, it becomes clear that you aren’t interested in gossiping about them (or anyone).
Tell them. Believe me, it isn’t as hard as it seems. I’m a blunt person, so I just told my friends I really don’t want to gossip anymore. They were actually really supportive, because they know that it’s a personal goal and that I’m not judging them for what they choose to talk about.
You’ll be surprised how much more fun your life can be without all the nasty rumors. Gossip is seductive, and it’s so easy to get caught up in it. In the end, you’ll find it isn’t worth it. When you gossip, you lose credibility. If you say that about on person, people may wonder what you’re saying about them. Like I said last week, I’d rather be the nice girl. And for at least this month, I was. I hope to continue not gossiping; although I’m sure I’ll have slip-ups, it will be easier to go without.
[And with that, Christie has completed her challenge. Next month we’ll be following Ariel as she attempts to spend an entire month (GASP) off Facebook. This should be good.]