Ever since I flipped through the many college brochures in high school, I had my own college fantasy. I saw frat boys making out with sorority girls under a sycamore tree in the quad a Sports Illustrated swimsuit poster while double-fisting a Coors, ‘Van Wilder’ playing in the background. It’s a strange college ideal, but let’s face it: in college, hooking up comes as natural as canning two Red Bull 30 minutes deep into a study session. What do you expect from a slew of horny, freshly-free kids placed in a small colony of dorm rooms? From the very first night of college the constant pressure to hook up with people looms like the haze of a drunk-buzz. And it’s the norm.
Random hook ups are not only not shunned in college, they’re expected. College is a get-by-free pass for having fun and making out.
I’m not saying everyone hooks up in college, but for the majority of the student body, hooking up is a given. Meeting new prospective hook-ups you’ll most likely regret in the morning and dish with your roomies is as expected as walking into the library and walking out with a book. It’s free and returnable.
Under most circumstances, girls will say hooking up is fun and carefree. After a few beers, there is nothing wrong with making out and fooling around with a cute college boy that has a baby-face and likes to dance with you next to the beer pong table. And hooking up doesn’t have to involve drinking either. We’re all familiar with the term ‘booty-call.’ Simple attraction and a life sans parental units can ignite hook-ups and the ‘no strings attached’ attitude. That’s why hooking up is fun! You never have to worry about meeting families, what his favorite baseball team is, or if you should text him or call him the next day.
But, what if hook-ups are about more than ‘I just want to let loose and have fun?’ Before I say this next statement, you somehow have to bare with me. OK, here goes: I read ‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’ by Tucker Max and while the guy is a complete douche, I think he might be onto something. Whew, OK, punch a pillow or something pretending it’s my face. Now that we got that out of the way, here’s why I think Mr. Max may have made a valid point. He once stated that he goes for girls who are insecure because they are the easiest to hook up with. Ignoring the fact that Tucker Max introduced this concept to me, hear me out.
What if hooking up is more than fun and games? What if we hook up because we’re insecure? Think about it: insecurities make people do silly things and hooking up with a random is definitely silly. Although we may think we’re “having fun” and “getting some,” are we really just filling a void? Trying to build ourselves up/ Insecurities make us feel unloved and unwanted; is hooking up a crutch to help us feel like we’re loved and wanted, if only momentarily?
The attention gained from a hook-up feels positive and real. For as long as a hook-up lasts (whether it’s for a night, or an ongoing affair), it makes us feel better. You’re with a guy that is clearly attracted to you enough to be rolling around the sheets with you. You feel sexy, wanted, and excited to be a part of the hook-up culture so prevalent on campus. Do we play these random nights up in our head to be “fun” when really they are a failed attempt in emotional attentiveness? Are we so insecure that we fear a real relationship, thus hooking up to avoid the feelings (and potential rejection) that a real, healthy relationship would provide?
Let that sink in for a moment.
Then ponder this:
Can we have a solid hook-up completely sans insecurity, or is insecurity in a hook-up as expected as the awkward walk-of-shame in the morning? Could Tucker Max be right (yes, I used Tucker Max and the word ‘right’ in the same sentence), or is it possible for perfectly confident girls to be in it for fun?
It’s your call. What do you think?