Reality television has created some interesting characters the last few years. And by “interesting” I mean “people I want to punch in the face.” Celebrities like Speidi and the Karadashian crew have infiltrated all corners of Hollywood and for what? Big booties and bushy beards? Embarrassing baby daddy’s and even more embarrassing “albums”?
Thanks but no thanks, reality TV.
We love to hate on these D-List losers (it’s my favorite pastime after day drinking and watching the shows that make them famous), but the reality of the reality TV situation is that there really are some hidden gems out there. Awesome characters whose careers have been tainted by their moronic, fame-seeking peers. These 6 reality stars have been overshadowed for far too long and I’ve had enough.
It’s time for some new reality stars.
You listening, Bravo?
Vinny Guadagnino – Jersey Shore:
The youngest bro from everyone’s favorite guilty pleasure show is unbelievably underrated. We get it: it’s hard to be seen when The Situation is flashing his abs every time you get some camera time. Vinny needs his time to shine. And what better way than by following him around when he leaves The Shore behind and moves back in with Mama and Papa Guadagnino? We could watch him creep, smush girls in his childhood bedroom, then enjoy a breakfast spread (courtesy of mama G) with his lady friend as his mommy folds his laundry. Just sayin’, I would bet 100 Ed Hardy hats that Vinny’s his uncles are way better wingmen than Pauly, Ronnie and the Sitch anyway.
Brad Goreski – Rachel Zoe Project – and Randy – Say Yes to the Dress: What would happen if you combined Rachel Zoe’s hilariously fabulous Style Director and Kleinfelds’ over-the-top Fashion Director? Only the most fabulous makeover show to ever grace television. (Move over, Tim Gunn.) I have a girl-boner just thinking about it. Vera Wang, Pnina Tornai, Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs and Valentino… Celebrities picking out wedding dresses… Average mere mortals getting done up by my two favorite gay men on television. SO MANY COMBINATIONS OF FABULOUS.
Cookie – Bethenny Getting Married?: This Lhasa Apso mix runs the Frankel-Hoppy household. Her vote of confidence is what got Max hired. (And thank god for that, am I right?) Whatever she says, goes. And by “says” I mean “bites.” She’s the biggest bitch in town (giving Jill Zarin a run for her money) and we all know bitches make for great TV. How do you think The Real Housewives got 1,000 spin-offs?
Zoila Chavez – Flipping Out: Her “official” title is the Director of In-House Operations for Bravo’s most neurotic, OCD designer. Hysterical. The woman watches telenovas all afternoon, refuses to exercise and chases around misbehaved dogs, all while dishing out some major sass. For the last 10 years, Zoila has put up with Jeff Lewis and his antics, putting her own personal life on hold. It’s time she kick that diva to the curb (of his $2 million dollar house) and be ABC’s next Bachelorette. Ali’s got nothing on this spicy firecracker.
Nigel Barker – America’s Next Top Model: Nigel has been living in Tyra’s ego’s giant shadow since Cycle 2 of ANTM back in 2004. But why? If it weren’t for that hot hunk of heaven, I would have stopped watching that sh*tshow years ago. Give him his own show – I’m thinking “Nigel Barker Takes Off His Shirt and Does Things” – and I’d set my DVR to record new episodes AND reruns weekly. (Mmmm Nigel Barker Takes Off His Shirt and Stares Into the Sun, Nigel Barker Takes of His Shirt and Watches Grass Grow, Nigel Barker Takes off His Shirt and Then Takes Off His Pants.)
Do I smell an Emmy up in here?