Hipster or Gay: Can You Tell?

As a resident of good ol’ NYC, my out-of-town friends always assume I’m living the Carrie Bradshaw life.  While cosmos do indeed pour out of my sink instead of water, my bedroom doesn’t boast the revolving door of men for which SJP & Co. are famous.  Sure, guys are everywhere- washing your windows in the morning, riding the subway with you in the afternoon, sleeping on your stoop at night- but selecting which ones are actually eligible for your affections is a tad tricky.

You see, everyone knows the gays love Manhattan.  Don’t roll your eyes.  Please, we have Broadway…this is their Mecca.  And across the water we have Brooklyn, a mother ship for hipsters the world over.  They come in droves, sporting their cross-body bags, boasting blasé attitudes and a taste for bands you’ve probably never heard of before.  Wondering what these two groups have in common?  More than you think, and it makes crushing really tough. And I know this phenomenon is spreading like wildfire from coast (Brooklyn) to coast (West Hollywood).

If you think I’m kidding, take a look below and try to figure out which of these boys would like you and which would like each other.

Super Tight Jeans

Deep V-Neck Tees (Preferably of the American Apparel Variety)

General Sartorial Elitism

Interesting Hair

Interesting-er Facial Hair

Severely Unbuttoned Oxfords


Thick Rimmed Glasses

Enthusiasm for Bikes

Impossible, am I right?

Well, not totally. That is, assuming you can yank that boy’s iPhone out of his super tight back pocket and take a look at his music collection.  If he’s got Liza Minelli/the Glee soundtrack, he’s gay.  Dinosaur Jr. and Panda Bear?  Totally hipster.

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: September Edition
Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: September Edition
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