I officially started my LSAT journey seven weeks ago, and as I write this, I’m anxiously and nervously awaiting my latest prep test score. Although I knew studying for the LSAT would require an immeasurable amount of hard work, I had no clue exactly how frustrating the process would be from time to time. It’s safe to say though, I’m definitely in a head-over-heels love/hate relationship with the LSAT.
If the LSAT was my boyfriend (thankfully my boyfriend already took the LSAT…and he’s not nearly as frustrating), then I’d say that we are at that awkward stage in the relationship where things are getting serious, but it’s too early to be a full-fledged romance. But I’ll be honest, this LSAT relationship is far from healthy. Some days, it’s all I think about from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. And other days, it’s the last thing I want on my mind. Some days, the LSAT and I spend our entire day together. Hell — I have even fallen asleep with the LSAT (ok — LSAT prep books) in bed with me. And other days, I’ve grown so sick of it that I just need to spend the day alone.
There are lots of things I love about the LSAT (Ok – maybe love is entirely too strong of a word, let’s settle for like), and of course, there are plenty of things that I hate about the LSAT. For example, I love/like that anyone who takes this test has to work at it. Unless you consistently score a perfect score (180), there is always room for improvement. And then, I hate the LSAT because of what I just said above – you have to constantly work at it. Just because I score well on a section one day doesn’t mean I can slack off on that same section the next. It’s a complicated battle of finding the right balance, and sometimes it can feel like too much to swallow.
Maybe because I feel like so much is riding on my decision to go to law school a year later than I would have originally planned, I feel extra pressure. This post-grad year has pretty much been deemed as my shot at moving forward in the future, and with the constant reminder to myself that I want to move forward and do so many things (and law school is a major contributor in doing those things), I am working myself up even more than I may have, say a year or two ago, if I started studying and planning for law school during undergrad. Just like in the early stages of a relationship, I want everything to go as planned and to work out as much as possible.
So, I think it’s safe to say that right now, I’m in what Facebook would call an “it’s complicated” relationship with the LSAT. Some days I feel like I’m flying high with my improvements, and then the next day – I feel like I’m back to square one. Some days I want to give up and just be like “Screw you future self and future law school possibilities,” and then some days, I feel extra pumped up about studying and whatever I accomplished for the day.
If anything is for sure about love/hate relationships it’s this – it will never be easy. And reminding myself of that every day is just something that I’ll have to do. In fact, my LSAT Kaplan prep teacher tells my class every time we meet, “If you’re waiting for this test to feel easy – that day will never come.” Perhaps though, I’m not looking for it to feel easy (I doubt it ever will), but I’m looking for more security in my strategies and testing abilities. A secure relationship? Who doesn’t want one of those?
While it seems like everyone is wrapping up their summers, going back to school, or getting a job, here I am – romancing a standardized test. At least this romance was my choice, and although it’s not always perfect from time to time, I always have something to look forward to in my newly bizarre and surprisingly unplanned post-grad life.