If Lynx Lodge is Real, This Should Be Too!

In Australia, the ultimate fantasy man-cation is about to become a reality.  The Lynx lodge, a male-only resort boasting on-staff models and a list of cringe-worthy activities, is opening this November.  Now you can send your boyfriend, brother, and dad to play Twister with gorgeous Aussie girls, sit front row at a mud-wrestling match, and then embark on manly sporting endeavors like golf and fishing.

Sounds like a dream, right?  Wait, no?  Not so much?  Yeah, I didn’t think so either.  I say give the men all the boobs and beer they could ever dream of.  I’m much more interested in putting a female spin on it and creating the most do die for girls-only resort.  And if the BF tells you it’s going to be all pillow fights and whipped cream, pat him on the head and set him straight.  This is our fantasy, not his.

First off, I like to think the dream resort would look a little bit like Jennifer Aniston’s house.  Actually, let me take it one step further and say I’d like Jennifer Aniston to be the president and manager of this dream destination.  Without offending her holiness, I think it would take the ultimate independent girl to design and decorate the perfect girl retreat.  Rest assured, every room would be appointed with giant luxurious beds, DVD box sets of Sex and the City, fully stocked mini bars, and the most worry-melting Jacuzzis you’ve ever seen- compete with champagne scented bubble bath.

While dudes think it’s all-that hanging out with strange women in string bikinis, I’d actually prefer for our resort to be a man-free zone.  Just think — hair can remain in sloppy buns, spandex will become perfectly acceptable outside the gym…no bros around to complain when you blast your favorite ’90s girl group hits (helloooo Spice Girls)!

Suggested activities would include sleeping in, lounging by the pool, hanging out and looking cool, visiting the award-winning spa, and eating chocolate-covered strawberries.

To cap off a day of bliss, it would only be appropriate for the hotel to offer cocktails on its sweeping veranda.  (Of course there’s a sweeping veranda.  And from it you can see Brangelina’s French chateau.  Did I not mention we’re in France?  Ooh, look, there’s Shiloh!)

What else would your ultimate girls-only getaway include?  Maybe sparkly ponies to take you to dinner?  Or amazing stores where everything is free?  I got it, vodka fountains!

Now, we just need to figure out who’s going to commission this fabulous dream…

Decoding Heidi Montag
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