Sexy Time: No, Thanks.

Yeah, not gonna happen. Thanks.

Sometimes, against our better judgment, we put ourselves in situations that we would rather not be in. Whether it’s too much flirting or too much tequila, sometimes we send mixed signals. One thing leads to another, hands are creeping towards places we don’t want them to go and we realize it’s time to put the breaks on. We need to say no.

Sometimes this is easier said than done. Sometimes there’s that “point of no return,” where it’s just awkward to stay stop – even though no one should ever do something sexually they’re not comfortable with. So, what’s the solution?

For starters, avoiding situations where things can get carried away is a good place to start. Don’t go alone somewhere with someone who you don’t want to fool around with — into a bedroom at a party, for example. Limiting the chances of unwelcomed advances in awkward/private situations, and setting very clear boundaries before getting into that kind of predicament is a pretty good idea too. Saying something along the lines of “I’m only comfortable with _________” or “I’m only going to ___________ with you” is both fair and assertive enough to get the point across.

What if it’s too late? What if things are heading in an unwelcomed direction? We’re told that saying no after a certain point makes you a “tease.” Fine.  Really, ladies, it doesn’t matter – don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Say “no,” say “not right now” (there doesn’t have to be a later), or make an excuse (“sorry, I’m on my period” always works). Make a compromise, if you you want, that’s a pretty easy way out too.

Regardless of what we’re told, the majority of guys will respectfully accept your “no, thanks,” and stop what they’re doing. If they don’t, it’s time to get more forward about what you want. The only people that won’t stop at that point are, quite frankly, criminals (no means stop and not stopping means rape).

Part of being a sexually empowered woman is not being afraid to say no. It’s our responsibility to try to avoid these situations, obviously, but we all know that sometimes one thing leads to another. Don’t ever feel like you “owe” somebody sex, because you don’t. It’s never too late to change your mind.

Friday Faves: Confessions of a College Cocktail Waitress
Friday Faves: Confessions of a College Cocktail Waitress
  • 10614935101348454