Ahh, finally some buzz from the Hollywood hills! The past few weeks have been a bit dull, but now we’re back in action. Elin and Tiger are officially dunzo, Lindsay Lohan is a free woman, and Heidi Montag has sex tapes! So much drama to indulge in. I just hope it doesn’t make me fat.
So here’s the scoop.
Ice Cream Sundae
1. Our favorite felon, Lindsay Lohan, is out of rehab after only 22 days! I don’t know how she managed to skip out on her full three-month sentences in jail and rehab, but girlfriend did it. She’s already raking in some major cashflow post-lockup with companies sending her clothes and offering her deals, like a radio hosting gig in New York with Mama Lohan. Although Lindsay is out of trouble for now, she still has a court date set for her hijacking adventure on January 31, so don’t get too used to that freedom yet, girl!
2. Elin Nordegren is officially rid of Tiger Woods, as a husband that is. They finalized the divorce this week and Elin walked away with a big chunk of cash. Elin made her first and last interview with People Magazine and opened up about the scandal she’s been living through. Tiger released a statement after her interview ran and spoke about how sad the situation is. We agree, it’s sad. For Elin and the kids! Best of luck and props for being so strong!
3. Heidi Montag has a sex tape, and Spencer Pratt is trying to sell it! While everyone’s still debating if their divorce is real, the sex tape certainly is. It’s of Heidi and Hef’s former girlfriend, Karissa Shannon (yeah one of the twins). Karissa is a good friend of Heidi’s and claims Spencer stole her camera, and she says there are other things on there she doesn’t want getting out! Yikes. Also, Heidi is getting her implants removed and she’s terrified that her nose is going to fall off! So sad. I think? Heidi, are you frowning or smiling?
4. Paris Hilton almost got robbed while she was in bed! The man, Nathan Lee Parada, broke in to Paris’ house and had two knives in his hands. Scary! He’s being held on charges of felony burglary and has a $50,000 bail. Sources say that Paris’ boyfriend, Cy Waits, pulled a gun on Nathan and held him until the police arrived.
5. Ryan Seacrest is trying to line up a radio show for Larry King. Larry’s show on CNN will be turned over to Piers Morgan. Ryan knows how much money he could make off of a Larry King show doesn’t want Larry out of the game just yet, so he’s using his resources to get Larry a new gig. Long live the King!
Freezer Burned Neopolitan
1. Our favorite pussy Nicole Scherzinger will be appearing on How I Met Your Mother as Jessica Glitter, the rival of former pop star Robin Sparkles. If you don’t watch the show, you’re dumb missing out.
2. Betty White won an Emmy for her hosting gig on SNL and her new show Hot In Cleveland is the number one sitcom this year! Congrats!
4. The Kardashian-Jenner clan are receiving the Key to Beverly Hills at the Taste of Beverly Hills food and wine Festival on September 2nd! Turns out, it’s not so hard to nab that thing after all.
5. Enjoy hottie Joseph Gordon-Levitt on a bike for a scene in his new movie, Premium Rush. Yummy!