A Labor Day TV Marathon For Every Mood

Labor day is all about spending the day thinking about how you don’t have work…if you’re a million years old. For those of us still in school, it’s all about going out hard on Sunday (ugh how strenuous was syllabus week, huh!?) and spending the day in your pajamas watching marathons all.day.long. And don’t even think about taking the effort to reach for that remote. Today is all about doing absolutely nothing. So that’s why we’ve put together this amazing list of every single marathon happening on Labor Day. Enjoy.

Oh and make sure not to get too many chip crumbs on your roomie’s Snuggie. She’ll never let you borrow it again.

Discovery Channel – Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe: So you’re feeling slightly depressed about your own job (or lack thereof) and you need the kind of “at least that’s not me” pick-me-up that can only come from watching a man crawl around in sewage for 8 hours. This is for you.

TLC – Little People, Big World: Need a change of scenery from your boring, ho hum life? How about looking at the world from 3 feet off the ground?

ABC Family – Secret Life of the American Teenager: Nothing says “Labor Day” quite like never ending teen pregnancy scares and fighting with your parents over curfew. For an entire day.

A & E – Hoarders: Honestly, I can’t imagine how anyone can watch more than 2 minutes of this show let alone an entire day’s worth. But if you like feeling nauseous and depressed, you’ll definitely want to keep your TV tuned in to A&E all day long.

Bravo – Real Housewives of New Jersey: If we needed a valid reason to watch this sh*tshow, it wouldn’t exist.

Disney – Suite Life on Deck: If you are feeling like you’re five again, why not check out Suite Life on Deck – and repeat after me, “I am still a grown up adult, I am still a grown up adult.”

Food Network – Semi-Homemade Cooking: Because the only way to get over the sting of not getting mom’s famous coleslaw is to watch food porn on the couch while munching on Chinese take-out.

FX – Two and a Half Men: Because there is no Jersey Shore marathon and apparently this show is funny.

Gameshow Network – Baggage: Stop worrying if your sext to your  T.A was inappropriate and focus on people who actually have real relationship issues. Like really real issues. They wouldn’t be on the Gameshow network if they were just messing around.

Hallmark – I Love Lucy: Sick of color TV? Craving the days when Snooki wasn’t being mentioned on every network? Well pull a Pleasantville and hunker down for a day of good old-fashioned fun. Old-fashioned being the key word. Lucy and Ricky manage to have a baby, yet never once talk about how that happened.

History – Pawn Stars: Throw the History Channel a bone. They’re trying so hard to be hip and fun and cool. It’s like watching your Mom log on to Facebook. You just can’t help but feel sorry for the old gal.

HGTV – House Hunters International: What’s that? You’ve seen every house in America! No worries, we’re going international!

Soap – Beverly Hills 90210: This is where it all began, people! Before Gossip Girl, The O.C. and the new (and crappy) 90210. Where we first learned how to deal with abusive boyfriends, cults, divorce, suicide, and what it’s like to be inexplicably rich and angsty. And, of course, there will be plenty of high waisted, acid washed jeans.

TBS – The Office: It wouldn’t be a long weekend without some major awkwardness (Michael Scott is on par with hooking up with someone on your floor) and some Scranton comedy.

TNT – Bones: If you have a slight craving for some modern Law & Order meets House (i.e. dark humor) and an excuse to feel like you uncovered a mystery per episode, tune into Bones.

Travel – Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations: Think Eat, Pray, Love + steroids – inhibitions and you have Anthony Bourdain’s food show. It’s revolting and appealing all at once. Not too much different than the thought of eating breakfast when you’re hungover.

TV Land – The Nanny: For the masochist in all of us.

U.S.A – N.C.I.S: The perfect show to flip to when your R.OT.C crush walks by the lounge. Other than that…we’re not sure why people under 50 turn this on.

VH1 – The T.O Show: Otherwise known as  “How NOT to Behave if you’re a human being.”

WE – Ghost Whisperer: Lost your Oujia board? No worries! Check out the show that’s making it possible for Jennifer Love Hewitt to keep her career.

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