Dear Bros: Your Hair Grosses Us Out Too

Brobible, my favorite website in the whole world (ahem, gag me), never fails to spout tidbits of bro wisdom.  Case in point: today they tackled the issue of female body hair and how it is completely unacceptable.

Now ladies, I’m assuming everyone here is up on their personal grooming regimen.  While I by no means endorse waxing every part of your body until you resemble a baby prostitute, I think we can all appreciate that some things need to be taken care of.  That being said, I think the bro POV is especially harsh and clearly these fellas are choosing to ignore all the…er, unpleasantries…they often bring to the table (or the beach, or the bedroom, or the gym).

Back hair
Yeah, that mess happens.  Just because you can’t see it when you look in the mirror doesn’t mean we can’t, gentlemen.  You want us to wrap our arms around you and beg for more?  Take care of the sweater you’re growing.

Come on, you look like a Turkish cab driver.  Tweezers can be your friend, too.

Your armpit hair
It’s like a Chia pet under there.  And you know that move when you grab us in a playful headlock and we laugh like we’re enjoying it?  Well, that mini-bush you’ve got is rubbing all over the back of our necks.  Whether we’re good actresses or simply mature enough to accept you for who you are…you’ll never know.

Nose hair
Sure, it may hurt, but if I’m willing to put hot wax on my vagina to please you, then take one for the team and tweeze those spider legs coming out of your nostrils.  Not feeling so manly?  Mini-scissors can also work wonders.  Something.  Anything.

The Rape ‘Stache
For those guys who can’t grow full-on facial hair.  It’s those few stray hairs that grow around your mouth or under your chin.  You’re like a thirteen year old going through puberty, except you’re 25 trying to look like Burt Reynolds.  Throw in the towel, it’s not gonna happen, Champ.

Feet should not be hairy.  Case closed.

If you’ve got it goin’ on in your ears, I don’t want to know about it.  Then again, if you often get mistaken for the Missing Link, I probably don’t want to know you in general.  Sorry.

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