[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month we followed Ariel as she went a(n almost) full month sans Facebook. This month Meredith is giving up junk food. Yes, really. Her first week was good. Great, even. This week, though, life sorta got in her way….]
I had a vision in my head for how this month would go. I would give up junk food, be healthier, maybe slip up once or twice, but succeed overall. I would end the month being skinny, beautiful, and confident. My life situation would remain the same; it would be ME that changed.
I made a very big lapse in judgment. As Knocked Up taught us, “life doesn’t care about your plans.”
My boyfriend and I broke up Saturday night. I WOULD publicize all of the fun details, but Destiny’s Child put it best when they said, “You know I’m not gonna diss you on the Internet, cause my momma told me better than that.” Now, before you start to pity me, don’t. I am much happier and I have so many amazing people around me constantly. I adore being single again (some think maybe even too much…).
But I do have a confession. My friend and I ate some ice cream on Saturday night. The truth is that it didn’t make anything better, obviously. We ended up walking four miles that night on our quest for lots of fresh air, which, in my opinion, cancels out the ice cream. Judge for yourself. I immediately was junk-food-free again on Sunday.
I wanted more than anything to be a good example of giving up junk food and taking on a healthier life, but unfortunately I’m caught in a very bad cycle. My current lifestyle is far from healthy. I’m not sure whether it’s due to the breakup, my dad’s impending wedding (which I now have no date to), or the excitement of trying to meet all of the boys on my floor, but I have been having a physical reaction to all of the commotion. Namely, nausea and insomnia.
I drink about four caffeinated beverages a day to offset the sleep deprivation. In addition, most anything with flavor makes me want to puke, so I have been sticking to salads and rice cakes.
For a long time, I was really upset with myself, because I couldn’t write about the awesome, healthy meals that I have been eating. I was sad that I couldn’t give you suggestions as to how to avoid the temptation of junk food, because I have no interest in eating it when I feel this sick and generally disinterested in food. But, the more that I thought about it, I grew less disappointed in this setback. Mostly because I’m a human, and I want to show that. If I could go through this month without any problems, it would be abnormal and unrealistic. Maybe everyone initially thought that the setback would be me slipping up by eating junk food; that’s certainly what I thought it would be.
I’m going through some of the most human problems that any of us could have: a break up, a change in family structure, and a general adjustment to a new lifestyle. A big part of my inability to sleep and eat is the excitement of it all, but my body needs to catch up with these modifications. I know that it will.
I truly do apologize to those of you who were looking forward to an article about resisting junk food temptation, but believe me when I tell you that this was a tough one to write.