This week I’d like to dedicate this post to Chelsea Handler, who despite flubbing some punchlines at the VMAs, is still totally awesome.
That being said, this week has been filled with a lot of post-VMA talk over T-Swift’s downer of a diary entry, Biebs owning it, Rihanna‘s red hair, and Kanye’s ode to douchelords. Kanye’s song (and sick gold necklace) rocked, by the way. Just sayin’. Anyway, there were some non-VMA related things that happened so let’s break it down.
Big Mac (and a milkshake)
1. Shelley Malil, that guy from 40-Year-Old Virgin, has been found guilty of attempted murder. He’s facing 21 years to life for the premeditated attempted murder of his ex-girlfriend, Kendra Beebe. Shelley pled not guilty and claims he accidentally stabbed her (over 20 times) because he thought it was someone else trying to attack him. Mmmmk.
2.Watch out world – Speidi’s back! We all speculated that their “divorce” was a publicity stunt, but now the two claim they’ve reignited that special flame. (And how they did that when Satan Pratt is sporting a giant pube beard I’ll never know.) Wondering what this duo has been up to? Well, they were reportedly renting a home in Malibu this summer, made a bunch of renovations without telling the owner, and then hopped over to Costa Rica where Spencer got arrested last week on weapon charges. I guess congrats for saving your marriage?
4. Bob Barker fainted at a shooting range! Thankfully he’s OK! (And didn’t shoot anyone in the face on the way down. Hear that, Cheney?!) The 86-year-old Price Is Right host was taken to the hospital for dehydration. He’s taking it easy at home. Goodness gracious, Bob! Don’t scare us like that!
5. Joaquin Phoenix is a jokester! Remember when Joaquin said he was quitting acting to become a rapper? Well, according to the director of his documentary, Casey Affleck, it was a hoax! I’m Still Here follows Joaquin as he tries to break into the hip hop world, but the duo behind the project claim they “never intended to trick anybody.” Joaquin played this character on and off screen, even when he did interviews, for two full years. This has to be the longest running prank ever and makes Ashton Kutcher‘s Punk’d days look like small potatoes.
Kids’ Meal (with apple fries)
1. Are Rachel Bilson and Chace Crawford a couple? The two were spotted out in New York together, but her rep said they aren’t dating and she’s friends with his manager. And didn’t we just hear speculation that Rach is gettin’ down with Jake Gyllenhaal? I think it’s about time she reunited with Hayden Christensen and put an end to all these rumors.
2. Jennifer Hudson keeps dropping the pounds! The Weight Watchers spokeswoman has lost another 20 pounds…the healthy way. Impressive! You’re looking fabulous, J-Hud!
3. David Blaine and fiancee, Alizee Guinochet, are expecting. Congrats! I wonder if Baby Blaine will pull a rabbit out of the womb with him.
4. Natalie Portman’s new movie, Black Swan, is getting tons of Oscar buzz. I’m not surprised – Natalie is a superstar. Although I’m not exactly sure what a ballet thriller is.
5. New Calvin Klein ads. You’re so welcome! DROOL.