Every (dreadful) Monday, I write a list. Definitely not a to-do list (because it’s not satisfying checking “browse J.Crew’s website” and “Re-watch every episode of Rachel Zoe” off a list) and not “that list” (because I haven’t added to that list… in forever). No, my lists are more about whatever is relevant and weighing heavy on the CollegeCandy readers’ minds (or just mine) right now. Like scarves and jeans and jackets….
The first day of fall came only a week ago and I’ve already stuffed all my shorts into a duffel and shoved them under my bed. Nothing, I tell you, nothing (okay, other than Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes), is more enticing about fall than the clothing choices. I mean, where to start? Sweater dresses, boots, comfy jeans? I couldn’t be storing my sundresses and gladiator sandals faster if I tried.
And try I did.
However, as I page through magazines and scroll through my Google reader, I can’t help but notice some of the heinous fall trends popping up that can’t end sooner. Here’s the rundown of what needs to go.
10. Open toed booties
Seriously, what is up with that? Isn’t the point of a boot to keep your foot warm? Why would you make a boot peeptoe? Unattractive and unnecessary.
9. Button Down Plaid Shirts
I thought these died with Kurt Cobain. Why are they still being worn? Enough.
8. Fur Vests
I’m no PETA advocate, but come on. I’m all about a little faux fur trim but what the hell is the point of an entire fur vest? Newsflash: you look like roadkill, not Kelly Bensimon. (Editor’s Note: Wait, is that a bad thing?)
7. Purple Lipstick
I’ve done purple lips before….after chugging an entire bottle of $2 Cabernet by myself after my boyfriend dumped me. Seriously, just gross.
6. Tory Burch Flats
Please invest your $200 in some shoes that not everyone else has. This fad has died faster than Beanie Babies.
5. The smokey eye
I love a good smokey eye but do I have to read about it in every and all magazines I purchase? Over and over? Page after page?! No care. Taylor Momsen, take note.
Skinny jeans: fine. Super duper skinny jeans: that’s OK too. Glorified jean sweatpants? Only in America.
3. Long skirts
You look like a teacher. And not the fun, cool one who gave out gold stars. The one with bunched up pantyhose and who always had squeaky chalk.
Repeat after me, girlfriend: I’m not Frank Sinatra.
1. Ugg Boots
Preach to me all you want about how you just love how warm they are and they don’t look “that bad.” I’m still not buying it. Or them.