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Sexy Time: What’s Love Got To Do With It?


One of the things I love most about college is surprisingly not the pub nights, the endless good-lookin’ students, or the every-night spaghetti dinners — I really do love learning. Being a journalism student has taught me so much about the world of writing. Outside of learning how to write a good lede and how to master the inverted pyramid, my school makes us take a general education elective every semester (typically), so after getting my timetable at the end of August, I was stoked to check out what electives were available in my time slot.

It might be surprising to you guys, but I kind of have a penchant for sex, so I’ve opted to take a course that is right up my alley – philosophy of love and sex.

So far, this class has been pretty cool. Every week, we’re given a question that have we half an hour to answer on paper. Our first “question of the week” was something that really got me thinking – is it more desirable to have sex with love, or sex without love?

I took a while to think about my answer, but I think I eventually went around in circles and landed at “love isn’t the important factor in desirable sex. Comfort is the most important thing.” Because we all know awkward sex = bad sex. Or at least, that’s what I concluded in my mindless philosophical ramblings. But really, what’s the difference between sex with love and sex without love?

Sex with love. There is something that can be “transcending” about having sex with someone you love. It can be a more intense emotional experience, which only adds to making it a great physical experience. That said, just loving someone doesn’t make sex good, and being in love doesn’t mean you can’t have rough just-to-get-off-sex sometimes too.

Sex without love. Having sex with someone you don’t love is often more of a physical experience than an emotional one. It can be focused mostly on gettin’ ‘er done, rather than all the feelings that come along with sex. But who hasn’t had a completely amazing sexual experience they weren’t in love with – one that maybe even rivals that LTR fun?

Maybe one isn’t more desirable than the other. Maybe sex is sex is sex, and it makes no difference the feelings involved. Maybe sometimes we don’t want to think about how we’re feeling and just focus on getting it on.

What do you guys think? What’s more desirable: sex with love or without?