10 Columbus-style Discoveries Every College Student Needs to Make


You don't need a beard and a ship to discover something (sorta) new.


One fateful day back in the pre-Facebook days,  Christopher Columbus “discovered” America.  Much like you discovered that wearing a scarf around campus on a 75 degree day would not stop the hickey rumors from floating around. And we’re sure that’s not the only discovery that you’ve made since attending college. Just like Columbus discovered America and thought he was onto something pretty big, we’ve all found a few things along the way that wowed us as well. We rushed home, told our roommates, and sat there in shock when we realized that they already knew that it’s smarter to change into sweats before going to a booty call.

So here are a few more awesome discoveries that every college student needs to make:

1. Finding the secret bathroom so you can poo in private: We’ve all been victim to the poop wars in college dormitories.  You enter the community bathroom at the same time as another innocent pooper and each of you sit in the stall waiting for the other to make the first move.  It’s disgusting, but don’t begin to admit it hasn’t happened to you.  I’m guilty as charged, so finding the secret bathroom to do your business is a dream come true.  Nobody goes in there and you have hours to shadoobie in private. Glorious.

2. Finding the class where the prof puts the entire lecture online: This is one of the most wondrous discoveries. Attend class from the comfort of your bed. Just make sure to show up to the exam.

3. How to make a panini in the waffle maker: Or other fabulous cafeteria discoveries. The caf is a place to let your imagination span mountainous regions.  My freshman year, I discovered how to grill a sandwich on our waffle maker. My sophomore year I discovered how to mix the different kinds of cereals (preferably Cheerios and granola). My junior year I discovered the art of burrito making and bringing a Tupperware to the caf for leftovers.  You get the idea, now get out there and be your own Sous Chef.

4. Utilizing the library the 20th Century Way: This is a nerdy revealing moment for me, but while we are so hung up on internet research for projects and papers, we forget about the goodness offered in college library books. My senior year I discovered what it was like to do research from real books. And tell you what: it’s a lot better than crossing your fingers and praying your Wikipedia research is legit.

5. Finding studying serenity in Pandora.com: Seriously, Pandora was one of my most amazing discoveries ever in college. It’s free and you can download your own radio stations based upon artists you enjoy.  I had everything from a Disney Movie radio station to Enya (I’m not kidding, that shiz is relaxing.) You bring your headphones to the library and lose yourself while studying. Or turn it on while you’re pregame in your dorm – whatever, it’s great and I’m so glad I stumbled across it.

6. The Glory that is The Greyhound: Need a cheap drink of choice in college? Chelsea Handler taught me well: grapefruit juice and vodka (otherwise known as ‘The Greyhound’) is the pagan amongst mixed drinks.  It’s relatively healthy, tasty and cheapo.  Those three words pretty much sum up my college career.  Oh and another great drinking discovery?  At your local gas station, fill up a Coke slushy and mix it with Jack – it’s really fun!

7. Discovering Google Docs: Google Docs is a group project savior in HTML disguise.  We all know group projects in college are completely bogus and meeting up totally sucks.  But if you download Google Docs, you can work on one document, in separate locations, at the same time. It’s so amazing and creepy because you can see other group members typing their information.  It’s also fun, because you can type inappropriate words (i.e. FART) to make group members momentarily uncomfortable.

8.The outlet of time nobody is working out: It’s not my number one favorite thing to go bust a move in the workout room when the entire student body is also getting ripped.  I love finding that small snippet of time (usually between 1 pm and 3 pm) where nobody else is working out and I can sweat in my lonesome glory. Not to mention the dude with the B.O. who farts every .3 miles on the treadmill isn’t around either.

9. The Ultimate Hangover Cure: Which usually revolves around something like a Vitamin Water, a multi-vitamin, and a trashy reality TV marathon. And if you can roll out of bed, a solid workout usually helps sweat out that vodka collins.

10.Making the most out of college: This is the number one discovery in my book.  You have to take a moment, sit back and make a blatant attempt at making the most out of your college experience.  Learn from the inevitable moments of misunderstanding, bask in the awkward moments, and benefit from differences.  College is a great place for growth and constructing who you are so live it up.  Four years go by fast and suddenly you’re living in your parents’ basement. Take the time to truly enjoy!

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