The 8 Traits of a Great Wingwoman

In a college world where (shocker!) people drink and hook-up on a regular basis, it’s always a lovely gift in disguise to have a wingwoman by your side who supports you, sets you up for success, and is your personal cheerleader.

In high school, your wingwoman would accompany you to the bathroom during lunch, share the other half of cheesy bread with you, and wait by your locker when your boyfriend left early for the skate park.

In Hollywood, a wing woman is there to support her celebrity counterparts after a whirlwind of relationship blunders and public break ups.  (Look at Team Cox-Aniston for example.  I can see their wingwoman relationship sprouting from the rich dirt of Hollywood and making headlines already.  Thanks to the fresh divorce of Cox and Arquette. Friends fans rejoice!)

In college, your wingwoman plays a much more integral role. She’s an important element to your development as a young woman so you can get all of that partying and sexing out of your system.

Here’s how a perfect wingwoman is built in college world:

1. She will talk to ANYBODY.
This is essential. You want a woman who isn’t afraid to spark up a fun, outgoing conversation with any average Joe.  You don’t want a wet blanket who stands in the corner and bites her straws in half and pouts about how loud the music is. How are you supposed to get anywhere stirring the ice cubes in your drink and trying to cheer up a wah-wah friend?

2. She is so drunk and inappropriate you always look better.
When you have a wingwoman who pounds more rail drinks than you, you can always count on her to make you look more put together and in control to passersby. Especially when she starts screaming about how much she loves the new Pink song and grinding against the wall when it blares from the DJ’s perch.  You can just laugh lightly and wink at your boy toy, then hit up the dance floor and make him want it. He will be grateful he nabbed the “sober one.”

3. She knows when to walk away.
When you’re sweet talking your potential sweetheart, your wingwoman will know when to exit the scene and look for something else to sniff around.  Nothing will ruin a moment more than a wingwoman who will bust into your convo with slurred quotes from The Office and googly eyes.

4. She’s willing to take one for the team.
If it’s time for her to politely bow out of the evening at 2AM and take a taxi home to re-runs of Modern Family and burnt nachos, then so be it.  She should be ready and willing to end her night, even if yours is just beginning.

5. She hooks up with your hook up’s roommate…so you always stick together.
If the opportunity arises, your wingwoman should dabble in your future hook-up’s roommate. Therefore, you guys can save another taxi charge when you wake up in the morning to bail out of your situation together.  Nothing is better than fried eggs and coffee with your wingwoman while discussing how you guys were so attached at the hip it was almost kinky.

6. She makes sure you’re safe but doesn’t prevent you from getting yours.
A great wingwoman will always make sure you are making the right decision
.  And should a not-so-desirable situation arise (only after she knows you will regret it), she will invite you for your fourth meal at Taco Bell so you have an excuse not to go back Homely John’s dorm room.  With a fab wingwoman, you will never find yourself stuck in a sticky situation with someone you would have never wanted when you could see straight.

7. She grinds with you on the dance floor when you’re craving attention.
As superficial as it sounds, everybody enjoys a nice enough wingwoman to accompany your totally rad lawn mower dance move on the dance floor.  She will be by your side in an instant if you crave the eyes of the cutie by the bar, so you can pop, lock, and, drop it in unison. 

8. She will look hot, but not hotter than you.
What would a great wing woman be if everyone was looking at her cleavage instead of yours?

No one wants a Situation situation. What do you look for in a wingwoman?

Surviving Senior Year: Thinking About the Thesis
Surviving Senior Year: Thinking About the Thesis
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