So I’m registering for classes this week. The second semester of my senior year. My last semester ever as an undergraduate. Better make it a good one right? Oh, I intend to.
You see, I have a plan. I’m going to take my last two required college classes and then take on an internship for college credit so I don’t have to take a full course load can gain some real life experience without jumping into real life at full force. But as I sit here and consider my potential schedule for next semester I start to realize, once again, just how final all of this is.
If everything goes according to plan (then again, nothing ever goes according to plan) I’ll only be in class two days per week next semester, six hours each day. Plus work, and the occasional club meeting/party/annual-event-I-swore-I’d never-attend-again-last-year. College life will still take up a decent chunk of my time, but not nearly as much time as it takes up right now. And it will be a complete turnaround from this semester, a semester that feels a whole lot like someone is playing a game of let’s see how long we can keep Jenn away from her bed before she collapses. So yeah, it will be different.
Less time on campus, means less time to be involved on campus. And as my college life gets closer to ending, my college life gets closer to ending. The school paper has already starting training editorial assistants to replace us, something I have a hard time grasping. We’re training people to replace us when I still feel like I need to be trained! And continuing with that theme, that campus job I had since I was a freshman? I’ve started training my replacement there as well. And as I yammered on incessantly about the exact font size and label color that should be used on each folder, I started to realize exactly how not ready I am to hand over my color coded filing cabinet to someone else. (And, no, I don’t think it’s just because I’m a control freak, either.)
Adding to the already growing anxiety, my honors society has begun the process of inducting new members into our organization. (It’s a tiring process that involves booking rooms and ordering pins and making me want to pull my hair out of my head…) How is that possible? I feel like just yesterday, I was the one being inducted, and now I’m the one reminding everyone that they should be wearing business casual attire. Business casual attire? I own more jeans that any one person ever has the right to own. I have no business talking about business casual attire! (And don’t even get me started on how I’m going to have to wear it in 6 months….)
Every time I tutor someone in an introductory level class, every time I listen to a group of freshman discussing how long it’s been since they showered, (I kid you not!), every time I realize that guy I’ve been ogling has yet to turn 18, I am reminded once again that I’m closer to the end than I am to the beginning.
And just as I’m starting to come to terms with all of this craziness, I’m going to have to start letting some of it go -pull back from campus involvement, and step away from the color coded labels. For the first time in my college career I will (hopefully!) only be taking two courses. That means less time writing papers, less time pretending to write papers, and more time being a real person, or at least pretending to be real person. But I think it’s a good thing that I won’t be on campus as much next semester. It will ease the transition process, pick and pull at the Band-aid instead of ripping it off all at once.
It will give those trainees a chance to take the lead, but I’ll still be close enough to remind them that we file things alphabetically by last name, not by first.
Click here to follow Jenn’s other ups and downs of senior year.