Post-grad life is a lot about taking two steps forward only to take a step back. Some days, you feel like you’re ahead of whatever curve you’ve set for yourself and then other days, you feel like you’re falling behind. Although you have a lot more freedom and responsibility than life as a college student, the constant evolution of figuring out what to do next and what’s right is never ending.
Example: Two months ago, I scored what I considered to be my dream internship. I was meeting and interviewing celebrities, hanging out at some of the fanciest Hollywood locations, rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous at LA parties, frequenting red carpet events, and finding out celebrity gossip before the masses. And now, well … I decided this isn’t for me. There I go again. Two steps forward, and now that I quit, I feel like I’m one step back again. When can a girl get ahead?
In college, I feel like everything was a constant one-up. You know, where you out-do yourself and then you’re like “Damn! Look at what I accomplished.” Post-grad is more of a sporadic line graph that goes all over the place, where you have highs and lows and they fluctuate more than Lady Gaga’s outfits. While I like to think that all of this yo-yoing will get me to where I want to be, it can feel a little frustrating.
Why did I quit though? Well, after a month on, I simply knew that it wasn’t for me. Looking back to my sophomore or junior year college self, that kind of internship had me written all over it. Now? … Not so much. Although I enjoyed my time and experiences (so much of it was hands-on, which is rare at internships), I just knew that it wasn’t the best for me … especially since it was unpaid.
Unlike college, there are a lot more expenses that come your way on the post-grad journey. For example: Student loan repayment (can I just tell you that I cried over this for days when I got my first loan repayment bill?), law school admissions fees (do you even know how expensive this is? I don’t even want to talk about it), and so many other random things that happen (like for example, my computer just died….and I spent over $400 to be told that by Geek Squad…ouch). It’s just not practical to spend my time interning for no pay, especially since 90% of my time was spent sitting in my car in LA traffic. So, while I wanted to keep interning … it’s just not practical. Quitting felt like one of those forced break-ups. I wanted it, but at the same time, not so much.
So now I’m back at square one, trying to figure out just what it is I should be doing.
So much for post-grad stability, right?