Sexy Time: The “College Experience”

We all make mistakes. One of the biggest ones I’ve made in a while was dating a guy who, quite frankly, didn’t really want to date me. Three months into our relationship I was told that as much as he wanted to be my boyfriend, he also needed a chance to have the “college experience.” This didn’t make a lot of sense to me since the boy was 22, living with his parents and working night shifts at a warehouse. I was the college student, and I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. When I asked him to elaborate, he explained that he just really wanted to have sex…. with other people.

Why that relationship lasted three months after that, I have no idea.

Sadly, this isn’t a mindset unique to my ex – this idea of college as a place to get laid more than a place of education seems to be rampant among students (and non-students too, apparently). The idea seems to be that having a period of promiscuity and disregard for normal societal behavior is something we all  “deserve.” That there’s no way we could grow up and get married without having had some time to sleep around and be wild and crazy.

It’s no wonder we have this expectation, really — we see movies like American Pie that outline little except for the booze and sex lifestyle, and we read sites like College Candy that tend to talk a lot about the stereotypical college life. When we see a college lady who made a power point of her sexual exploits and Tucker Max making millions off of his “sex” life, what are we supposed to think?

I’m all for (safe) casual sex and a good time, but is it an integral stage in life? Probably not. If not having a slew of partners before entering a relationship leaves you feeling like you’ve missed out – that’s an issue due to your relationship, not due to the fact you don’t have a plethora of sexual experiences previously.

There’s nothing wrong with having a “college experience” – being wild for a couple of years and getting your freak on. But why do so many think this is something we have to experience in order to have a “complete” college life? As though staying in and watching movies on the weekend is somehow a waste of our tuition.

The problem with these expectations comes when those who have built this idea in their head and reach college to realize that, well, it’s just not really like that. Sure, there are opportunities to get half naked, play beer pong, and have some casual sex – but there’s also a lot of cookie dough-eating and Grey’s Anatomy-watching.

What does this mean for those who prefer not to partake in the “crazy” activities – those who are waiting ‘til marriage to get busy, or people who just don’t enjoy the whole casual sex and drinking scene? These people graduate the same as everyone else, and to be honest, I highly doubt that skipping the booze-and-sex makes them feel like they’ve missed out.

There’s always some excitement that comes with the first few months of being away from our parents, living on our own, and able to do pretty much whatever we want. But does that mean we should?  What do you guys think, is the “college experience” and integral part of young adulthood?

Candy Dish: Get Out the Glue Gun
Candy Dish: Get Out the Glue Gun
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