Greek Speak: How to Bow Out… Gracefully

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If you have been keeping up on your Greek Speak reading, then you know that last week I let it slip that sometimes there might possibly be teensy, weensy, little bitty cat fights between pledge classes. No big deal and nothing we can’t keep under control. BUT, I might have left out a somewhat important detail; a reason why these catfights happen….

Let’s face it. Sometimes you get a bid to a house and it’s just not a good fit. Hanging out at the house feels uncomfortable, you and your new pledge class just aren’t clicking, you realize Greek life isn’t for you. Bottom line: you hate it and you want out. NOW.

To put you in the stickiest situation, I am going to assume you are a pledge who is not been initiated but has paid your dues (because those often come during the pledge process, when you are part of the house but not officially IN it yet). You’re in an uncomfortable situation… SO uncomfortable you feel like you have drop out. Get over the fact that you’ve been brutally robbed of all the new member fees; those won’t be coming back to you so just forget it and move on. At this point, what you need to be thinking about is how to bow out gracefully, sans a drama-filled and unnecessary scene.

Before I get into that, though, know that girls ducking out before they are officially members of a sorority is not uncommon. There’s a lot you don’t know about being in a sorority until you are actually in one (not even GREEK can teach us everything), so many girls get a taste, realize it’s not for them and quit. It’s totally OK and if you do it right, not a big deal at all.

The trick is doing it right, so let me help you out.

Under any circumstances:

Do NOT go through the initiation process into a sorority unless your whole heart and soul is in it!
If you do, then you will never be eligible to go through recruitment or pledge another sorority, even if you deactivate from that one. You cannot be a member of one sorority, drop out and join another. Yes, that’s a rule and it’s one everyone takes very seriously.

If you’re feeling iffy about the whole thing during the pledge process, stop, reconsider and get out before it’s too late. Slipping out under the radar and without causing a fuss will allow you to rush again the next fall, or even in the spring, and pledge a sorority that fits you better.

Do NOT talk mad-smack about the sorority you dropped out of.
1) Contrary to popular belief, this will not win over the other ‘rival’ sororities on campus.
2) No one, not even stereotypically catty sorority girls, likes a gossip.
3) You have no idea if that “stupid, boring basement ritual” that you hated in your old house is quite similar to the traditions passed down in the new one.

You are already someone’s sloppy seconds (let’s be honest), so start fresh, no strings attached, and play nice. No matter if you’re a freshman rushing for the first time or a sophomore trying to find a better fit, you want to put your best foot forward. Plus, you never know who’s got friends in other houses….

DO try and get to know your pledge class a little better this time around.
Go to more functions, go to the house more often, and spend more time with your big sis/pledge mom. Obvi you are not going to click with every single girl in your new chapter, but you have to try. Be open-minded. As cheesy as it sounds, the more you put into sorority life the more you get out of it.

Making the decision to drop out of a sorority can be tough. My advice? Be honest with yourself and with your pledge class. If you’re not feeling it, then get out before it’s too late. No one expects you to devote your college experience to something that doesn’t fulfill you the way to hoped it would and, trust me, your pledge sisters would rather you duck out then half-ass your time there (because it will have an affect on their experiences too). Just make sure you do it right so this decision doesn’t negatively affect the rest of your time at college!

Get more Greek Life goodness right here.

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