You’re Not ‘Normal,’ Angie; Stop Pretending

Like every fun-loving girl looking to procrastinate doing anything productive, I spend a large majority of my time reading celebrity blogs. I spend the rest of my time getting irrationally angry at the stupid, ridiculous, and moronic things that celebrities say and do (in all fairness to the celebs, I react the same when when my roommates leave their crusty dishes in the sink). So when I came across a recent interview with Angelina once again saying one thing, while doing the complete opposite, I got so angry I just had to blog about it.

In this particular article, she makes a plea to the public to “leave Shiloh alone!” for dressing like a boy…and then proceeds to give out examples of exactly how Shiloh acts like a boy. She’s just a fun-loving girl (WHO WEARS TIES!) and we love her no matter how she dresses (BUT OH BOY, YOU SHOULD SEE HOW SHE DRESSES…LIKE A BOY!).

And this isn’t an isolated incident of Ang accidentally leaking valuable information to media. With the exception of possibly Suri Cruise, Shiloh is the most valuable person on the planet to the paparazzi and it seems if Angie really wanted people to leave her alone, she would stop saying the VERY things she knows will make headlines.

We have to give her props because she has truly perfected the art of celebrity image manipulation. She wants to be seen as a mom/humanitarian who happens to do some light acting on the side — and that’s generally how the media views her.

Angie takes her adorable kids to the park (right after being called a homewrecker by Chelsea Handler)

Angie has a regular ole date night with Brad Pitt (on the same day as her new movie premieres in NYC)

Angie takes a walk with Pax (immediately following media rumors that she loves him the least).

Yes she’s a mom and yes she’s a humanitarian. But she’s also a very successful actress (practically) married to one of the biggest and best-looking actors in Hollywood (pre-beard, obvi). She travels all over the world with all her children in tow and most likely tips off the paparazzi with every new destination.

I mean if Sandra Bullock, at the peak of her career, can hide a baby for four months, I truly believe A-list celebrities can hide from the paps if they make an effort. I have trouble believing that these people are truly stalked (yeah I’m talking to all those celebrities that go to the LA Farmer’s Market every weekend and act shocked when photos of their impeccably dressed kids show up online. I’ve never been to LA and even I know that’s a hot spot for celeb photos).

So it’s not fair for her to walk around like she’s soooo obligated to her film career by saying things like this in the Daily Mail interview:

‘It turns out we are both a bit reclusive,’ she laughs. ‘That’s why our paths had never crossed – neither of us attends many parties or goes out very much. Neither of us seems to take ourselves too seriously. And maybe there’s something about being in a place in your life where your family is so central to you that you have a good perspective on it all.

‘You appreciate the work, and when you are there you focus and give it your best, and then when it’s done you go home to your family. Your life is full off-set and you have this nice balance. Johnny is like that and I’m like that, too.’

Then show up to a premiere looking radiant and glowing and beautiful. Like you’re really sexy. Men all over the world dream about being with you.  Embrace it. Don’t pretend like you don’t know about your huge celebrity status when you very clearly do.

Angie is an world famous actress leading an extraordinary life. So I wish she would just start acting like it — instead of trying to pretend like she’s just trying to live a normal life. I mean, it only make us feel little people feel even more humdrum and insignificant when Angie tries to redefine “normal” family life by throwing her 7 year old son a baller birthday party in Paris.

UPDATE: In response to the many commenters saying that Angie can’t help being followed around everywhere, I present you with this story on how Julia Roberts reacts to the paparazzi taking photos of her kids. Spoiler alert: It involves a fight.

How to Survive Finals Week 101
How to Survive Finals Week 101
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