In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.
So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.
Though we’re all in a full-on finals crunch and the last thing your 5 Hour Energy buzz can handle is another lesson, I promise this is one you’ll actually use after college.
Lesson 2: It’s only romantic the first time you go back.
If you find yourself at a crossroad, where your single life intersects with your ex who wants you back, you should keep in mind that after the first time, going back won’t be considered romantic anymore. Nobody likes the couple that breaks up after every fight and then gets back together just weeks later. Just ask the Jersey Shore kids who’ve had to deal with Sammi and Ronnie for 2 years.
Just to clarify, that means you get one break up and one chance to go back after said breakup; the breakups and make-ups after that are treacherous. Girls who rush back into relationships with the same ex over and over are like the little girl who cried “break up” so many times that after a while, nobody believed her anymore. Her words have lost their value, as even her closest friends doubt her when she says, “Ugh guys, for real this time, I’m so done with him.”
While I believe in second chances, I find it harder to believe in third, fourth and fifty-second chances. Second chances can be like the band-aid of the relationship realm. Some of the strongest couples I know were ones who took a break and got back together. If it weren’t for second chances and girls going back to guys, our favorite romances would not exist and who really wants to imagine a world without The Notebook?
Just keep in mind that if you do go back, the things that actually drove you and your man apart should be resolved or at least on the way to resolution. The last thing you want is to be the girl who goes back too soon to the wrong guy and relives the same problems all over again, only to end it with the prospect of giving him yet another chance. Like Eminem said, “you only get one opportunity” to go back on romantic terms; don’t waste it.
Think hard about if going back is the right decision not just for you but for him as well, and be sure to consider if your current life will fit his. After time apart, there’s always the possibility that one (or both) of you has changed, so going back may not always mean you get everything back to the way it was. If you’re going back to him, let’s hope he’s changed for the better, no longer taking you on “dates” to the sports bar to where his eyes are glued to the television and not on your new dress (that you probably wouldn’t have worn if you knew he was taking you to a sports bar) or divulging intimate details about your life with this bros.
Also, don’t resent your friends if they begin to lose faith in you when you promise “it’s the last time you’re getting back together, for real this time.” They just want what’s best for you. If after you tell them you’re going back, their brows have furrowed and their smiles have turned upside down, it’s only because they were there for the ride when it didn’t work out the first time, as you shared every detail with them over drinks, Sex-and-the-City style. Your friends just don’t want to see you get hurt; it’s that simple.
If after all of that, you’re still ready to go back, then all I can say is good luck and be careful. You have to be your own safety net. While you don’t have to be completely guarded, just ease yourself back in, gradually allowing your life to readjust. By taking it slow, you’ve created a sort of trial run for what getting back together would be like. If it seems to be working out, then by all means, carry on with a hand over your heart (just in case). But if it doesn’t, don’t worry, you’re always welcome in this single life. And really, it’s actually pretty great.
What’s rule #1 of the Single Girl Society? Find out right here.