WTF Friday: This Bison Has a Better Fake Than You

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While everyone was getting all up in a tizzy because Miley smoked salvia, this news anchor was busy smoking something much stronger. Or at least we’re assuming she was. Because how else do you tell this absolutely ridiculous story, “man brings his pet bison to the bars”, without at least acknowledging that it’s REALLY WEIRD.

She delivers the news the same way that a mother tells you a story about her precocious toddler:

“And today Angelina counted to ten, but get this, instead of six, she said sex. Hahaha, kids these days!”

All we wanted was for her to break her news anchor character for one second and be like:

“You know, I’m sorry, this is not okay. We only have one bar in town and this guy ruins it every single day when he brings his bison, his frickin’ 1600 pound bison to the bar. The first time it drank a beer, I’ll admit, I laughed, but after that, no, not okay. Oh and you want to hear the worst part…it’s not potty-trained. Let’s get a shot of what a 1600 bison poop in the middle of the dance floor looks like.”

 

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer
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