It’s weird when you think about it – the way a simple word can gross you out as much as watching those nasty surgery shows on TLC or stepping over fresh puke on your way to class on a Monday morning. But it happens. A lot. There are just some words that give us all the heebie-jeebies and after my mother used the word moist to describe how amazing her brownies were this morning, I decided 1) I’m too grossed out to eat a brownie right now and 2) it’s time to make a list of the words that make me feel icky, uncomfortable and downright dirty.
Yeah, I guess I’m a masochist.
Crusty: I know that crusty bread can be a good thing, but that’s usually not what I’m thinking about when I hear this word. Hard as I try (and trust me, I try!), I can’t get “crusty underpants” out of my head.
Panties: Ask me how many times I’ve uncomfortably giggled when the older, voluptuous lady at Victoria’s Secret offered to show me where the ‘5 for $25’ panties were. Is it possible for a 20-year-old girl to feel like a dirty, old man at the mere mention of the word??
Facial: A big thanks to the porn industry for ruining one of the most relaxing spa treatments known to mankind. Never again will I be able to comment on “the best facial I’ve ever had” without feeling absolutely disgusting.
Moist: “Mmmm, these muffins are really moist.” Shudder.
Supple: If you are writing a super market romance novel, this word is perfect. “The supple young woman walked over to the counter while every men’s gaze was glued to her.” Anything else is just plain wrong.
Wet: This term not only describes something that is covered with liquid but also what is not dry. Yes, wet can be used to describe a counter top, or a plate. But it is also used to describe other things: “Did you hear that slimy, wet fart?”
Ointment: The word itself sounds like an infection. Which makes me think about all the gross, oozing things that you’d need ointment for. Which makes me want to barf.
Yeast: Even seeing it on a recipe card for some yummy homemade bread just makes me think of…. down there. And no one wants to put some fresh jam on that ish. (Editor’s Note: And if they do, well, double ew.)
Pimply: I don’t know if it’s the combination of the “p” and the “l” or if it’s the mental image of some poor soul whose entire face is covered by those juicy pimples, but yeah – I kind of threw up in my mouth.
Tits: Boobs, breasts, lady lumps….they all sound so much more pleasant than ‘tits.’ It’s just so derogatory and ugly. As are the people who would actually use this term.
Chunky: Think about it – is there anything positive in this world that can be described as ‘chunky’??
What words give you goose pimples? (Ew. Pimples.) Share ’em below and maybe together we can forge a campaign to rid the world of this nastiness once and for all.