Christmas is a great holiday.
Yes, it’s great for all of you who celebrate it; you get family time, some QT with the big man upstairs and lots of presents. But Christmas is also great for the Jews.
We get the same family time, minus the pressure of wearing an ugly knitted reindeer sweater and pretending to like it. Everything is closed so even though we’ve already celebrated our holiday (for 8 full days, baby), we’ve sort of got no choice but to celebrate yours. Except we do it with our own little twist:
The ritual of Chinese food and movies.
While you’re all spending your day getting your prayer on and opening gift after gift, on Xmas we get our moo shoo chicken on and open fortune cookie after fortune cookie with every other Jew from our towns, because let’s face it, while all the Christmas celebrators are chowing down on ham and sippin’ on eggnog, we’re all together with our egg rolls bitching about how everything is closed. Except that we secretly love that everything is closed because it brings us together to bond over the love of Kung Pao Tofu and catching up on the latest gossip about our friends from Sunday school and summer camp. Not to mention scoping out the inevitable scene at every Chinese restaurant in town (I mean really, there is nowhere else to go); nothing like your Bubbie checking out every boy who is within 20 years of your age and suggesting you go offer him some of your sesame chicken.
Once we’ve taken a note from Santa and shake our bellies with a bowlful of jelly (er egg drop soup), we then hit up the only other place that’s open on Christmas: the movies. When the weather outside is frightful and even the neighborhood Walmart is closed, there is never a better time than Christmas day to pull a double feature (and a monster bucket of popcorn, obvi). And when that’s all said and done, we head home, fall asleep to some Friends reruns and wake up to celebrate Hanukkah part deux, AKA the post-Christmas blow out sales at the mall.
Cashmere for 40% off? Buy one, get one winter boots?
What more could a girl ask for?<
So while I used to wish I had a Christmas tree to decorate or a Glee Hanukkah CD to play on repeat for weeks, I don’t think I could ever give up my favorite holiday.
To all those who don’t celebrate Christmas, wishing you a very happy Chinese Food and Movie Day!